Forever Trying To Make The Cut

More and more often I come across folks who are getting to hate Facebook, and I am starting to understand why.

Social Networking, as it has been classified, has made us more connected than ever before.  Current friends, former High School/College classmates, teammates, fellow church/club members...you name it...it seems like everyone is connected to it somehow.

While being on Facebook is mostly innocuous, outside of the annoyances of some of those damn games/quizzes everyone seems to take, it can also be difficult on the ego.

Unfortunately I have to admit that for some strange reason or another, I have become paranoid after seeing this...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sc5bbz5SB7M&feature=share

After watching the bit I got to thinking. What if...what if someone thinks I am delete-able?

Off and on throughout the day I'm wondering... Am I someone who could be easily wiped away from another individual’s life with little to know thought or consideration?  Will I end up being the “trimmed fat” that is cut loose?  The part of a movie, no one sees...left on the cutting room floor?

Suddenly I get this urge to justify my existence on Facebook.  I post a status reminding everyone of how much fun they have when I break into “Haiku Week” for my statuses.  Subconsciously I must have known this day was coming, as I arbitrarily decided that it was time to make this “Onomatopoeia Week”... and proceed to “PLOP SPLAT BOING” my way through statuses.  I even suggested that in an effort to entertain and maintain my position on peoples lists that I would do the unthinkable and put the two together! (Which may indeed be a crime against nature; Ok so that perhaps is an exaggeration, but it would most certainly be a crime against Literature.)

Sadly I was un-friended by someone I had known for close to 16 years because of ANOTHER Facebook incident.  (It’s a long and arduous story that I considered, but ultimately, have chosen not to tell or blog about.  Suffice it to say that some people are EXTRA SERIOUS when they say Religion is NOT something to be discussed in polite company.) It isn't fun, although I do certainly understand it to be a fact of life.

Now, I look at my friends list and see that I have 428 friends. Not nearly as many as some on Facebook... but I am no “loner” either.  Am I contacting these people all the time to arrange meetings for lunch or a BS session over a beverage after work?  Of course not; however I refuse to delete anyone because, frankly, suggesting that someone is delete-able, to me, is an insult.  The individuals I have in my list meant/mean something to me and have had an effect on my life.  I am who I am today, in part, because of them and I choose to acknowledge that by keeping them in my list of friends.  Even if that affect on my life is as minute as we met once at a party and had a great conversation about music...Whatever, YOU ARE NOT DELETE-ABLE!

I know not everyone feels the same way I do.  Truth be told, I find myself standing alone in opinion for a great many things in this world.  There are plenty of legitimate reasons to decide to break connection with a person, like I already mentioned I have been on both sides of that equation. I don’t think “because Jimmy Kimmel and William Shatner say I should”...is one of them. 

(Incidentally, if Mr. Kimmel or Mr. Shatner asked to be my friend on Facebook, I would add them.  Captain Kirk helped me believe that, if he could make out with interplanetary babes, there had to be someone in the Universe for me. As for Mr. Kimmel... well, that bit he did about f***ing Ben Affleck made me laugh so hard I peed a little...ok... not quite... but it was a GREAT bit)

A Frightful Halloween Tale

One particularily busy Halloween night, I answered the door to find to young lads probably about a year or two older then the norm to see out Trick or Treating.

One had dressed up like Dracula and while he was a little older, I don't mind handing out the candy when the effort is made. 

His partner was a completely different story.

Standing there in what he was likely to be wearing any normal school day, he had his pillow case out and said "Trick or Treat".

I asked him flat out..."What the heck are you supposed to be?"   His buddy laughed, as I am sure it wasn't the only time he had heard the question a few dozen times on the night.

"I'm a rap gangsta." he says, and flashes me a gang sign and snickers to himself.

"Oh really?", I reply.  "Where is your high tops, your basketball jersey and cap twisted to the side?  Where are the jeans, half falling off your ass or the fake 9mm you're gonna use to bust a cap in my ass if I don't hand over the goodies?"

They both laughed out loud until there came an awkward silence when they realized I wanted an answer.

"Can you gonna give me some candy man?

And in one statement his costume was finally revealed to me.

"You aren`t a rap gangsta.  You are dressed up like a BUM.  A regular beggar on the street who begs for food from people".  Laughter once more.

"What's so funny?  There's nothing great about posing as a beggar.  Homeless people and beggars have nothing and need the charity of others to LIVE... not just get a bloody sugar fix."

I grow weary of seeing this kid and decide to take drastic measures.

"Look I don't give candy to anyone who can't bother to get dressed up unless they are willing to work for it."

His eyes got big as the snow had just fallen and I hadn't had the chance to shovel the walk just yet.  "I'm not shovelling the walk for you if that's what you want."

"A fantastic idea, but no.  Drop and give me 20."

A crowd of other children, who had gatherered to watch the proceedings began laughing. 

"You cant be serious.  You want me to do 20 push-ups?" he said incredulously. "It's the only way you are getting your candy.", I deadpanned.

And so he dropped and proceeded the excercise.  "Help him count them out guys." I encouraged the crowd.  The happily obliged.

At the conclusion of the excercise I handed him a couple of peices of candy and slightely embarrassed he and his buddy walked off.  Some of the other kids asked right away if I was gonna make EVERYONE do push-ups.  I laughed and said "No...", speaking up loud enough for the two leaving to hear, "I only make kids who are too old to bother get dressed up for Halloween do push-ups...unless of course you want to do them on your own."  Some of them volunteered.  They got extra.

Happily, I did not get my home egged or the trees toilet papered that evening as payback...and these days, considering what I did, I think that is a bit of a miracle.

Word got around and over the following years, not a Halloween Night has gone by without having a child volunteering to drop and give me a few push-ups, just for fun.

Have a safe and Happy Halloween one and all!

Finally... A Hit!

Ok... so in looking at the grand scheme of things, perhaps...just perhaps... I have chosen the wrong vocation in life.

After being without a computer for over 8 days...8 of the longest, most excrutiating days of my life...I have decided that I need to get my ass into an adult learning centre that that will teach me some computer skills (Chicks dig guys with skills!) so I don't have to rely on the GEEKSQUAD to restore my damn computer the next time it blows up! (And with my luck.. make no mistake... it WILL blow up)

Thankfully I was able to utilize my BlackBerry for the most important tasks... instant messaging my Pixie, Facebook updates, YouTube video watching, Carolina Hurricane score updates... but I was unable to complete my duties as a responsible blogger.  So many issues have gone undiscussed...

1) My consumption of the Double Down from KFC and how my arteries did NOT clog instantaneously
2) World Series picks (I say San Fran in 6...any team that can knock out Doc is good enough for me)
3) Confusion about people of Faith (Facebook discussion handled this pretty well though)
4) Ridiculous expectations of Edmonton Oiler fans on their young stars (Seriously people...get a grip and stop bitching that they aren't scoring a hat trick a night...sheesh)
5) Playstation Move... yes it is THAT AWESOME!
6) My anger at GEEKSQUAD for witholding my laptop for an inordinate amount of time (even though I did get it within the 5 to 10 days they promised... I WANTED IT YESTERDAY DAMN IT!)
7) THE GAME & THE BET (Canes vs Leafs...Dec 28th, ACC in Toronto...IT'S GO TIME!)

I may still do these as individual postings as some of them are not affected by the passing of time since I had my laptop...but there are always new things to discuss...so they all may yet fall by the wayside.

In the meantime... I better look up that Adult Learning Centre phone number and book myself in for that course...I don't think I could go through all this again.

So THIS is what it's like to be an addict...

Miner Miracle

I’ve had a few days off from this harsh mistress called “Judge and Jury” (call it the Thanksgiving Turkey hangover) but the world certainly hasn’t stopped.

The most compelling story of all the ones out there now has to be that of the Chilean miners, trapped under the earth for over 60 days while crews worked frantically to come to their rescue.

From the moment this story came to light, I couldn’t help but thinking of a great old song my dad loved to play when I was young…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CS3ErDN50Qk

Tonight, this story has a much better ending than that of this great Jimmy Dean tune to be sure, but I have to say that I was not convinced that it would turn out as well as it did.

Think about this… 33 miners buried so far beneath the earth that you could fit the CN Tower between them and fresh air.  Sending a metal tube (The Fenix… perfect name for this operation as these men are certainly rising what would have felt like certain death) no wider than a man’s shoulders up and down this bored out hole on a pulley system, rattling against the rocks as it goes down only to come back up and do it all over again.  Millions of things could have gone wrong and somehow, disaster was averted and today we are not talking about a tragic event that killed 33 men.  Instead we have a story of triumph over the longest odds.  We are talking about human ingenuity and cooperation that saved lives.

While the celebration of this victory should be embraced and enjoyed, the mining industry had best be prepared for the intense scrutiny it is about to face.  Before the miners were even brought to the surface there had been questions about the horrible working conditions these men put themselves in.  The lack of safety standards, accusations of regulations being ignored altogether…all need to be addressed so that we can minimize the risk of seeing this happen anywhere else.

In closing… a note of thanks to anyone with a gig that puts their own lives in danger.  Regardless of the reasons why you do it, whether it is saving the life of someone else, or furthering industry… I appreciate your work.  Because I certainly don’t have the cojones to do it myself.

Thanks!

So this is Thanksgiving weekend in Canada and millions of us will take time to ponder what we are thankful for in our lives.  The cliché thing to do in a blog would be to list all that the author is thankful for and add it to the pile of thousands of other blogs that will do the same...and since I LOVE a good cliché...

I am thankful for my daughter.  I have said this to everyone who would listen...she is the best thing that my name has ever been associated with.  It really is just that simple. You are my own little miracle. 

I’m thankful for my family.  I know I don’t see you all that often but you are in my heart.  There have (and always will be) some tough times to go through...but one thing will never change.  I love you.

I’m thankful for my friends.  Unlike my family, you people all have a choice as to whether or not you want to see me...and for some unknown reason you still want to hang out.  You have been with me through some pretty terrible times...propped me up when I needed it... kicked me in the ass when I REALLY needed it...come to my defence and shared in my triumphs.  My hope is that I have/can be the friend to you that you have been to me.  I lost one of you this year and it made me think that I need to do a better job of not only staying in touch with you all but just being a better friend in general. 

  I’m thankful for my Caniacs.  I still think about my visit to Raleigh, NC to watch “our boys” play live, for the first time cheering on the HOME team.  You all welcomed me with open arms.  Visiting on line is one thing... but when we had a chance to meet face to face after close to ten years...well you made me feel like I was one of the gang who had been to every game like the rest of you.  A more generous, welcoming group of people I will never find.

I’m thankful for the Bodnar family... who while on that trip to Raleigh arranged for my meeting with my hockey hero Ron Francis.  It was the thrill of my life and I look at those pictures with a lot of joy and a little lump in my throat.  A wonderful, surreal dream comes true that I will remember for the rest of my days.  Most amazing of all of that is that you didn’t know me from Adam, but heard that I was a huge fan and went to work arranging it for me.  Thank you just doesn’t seem like enough.

And I am VERY thankful for you, Carolyn.  (I know I am gonna get shit for this being “over the top” but it has to be said.) There is not a single part or aspect about you that I don’t give thanks for every single day since we got together over three years ago.  No matter where you are in the world, or how long we are apart... I NEVER feel alone with you in my life. You are the perfect example of what can be achieved in life with hard work, integrity and desire.  You’re the most beautiful, caring, intelligent, thoughtful, loving person I have ever had the good fortune of meeting.  What you see in me, I will never know or understand...but I am very thankful that you see it and want to be a part of my life.  I love you Pixie...with all my heart. 

I could go on about all that I am thankful for (there is so much... really I am one lucky dude)... but I won’t. 

Here’s wishing you all the very best this Thanksgiving... and beyond.

In Doc I Trust...

My favourite baseball movie is Bull Durham... sure some like Field of Dreams, but for my money nothing is quite like Bull Durham.

One scene in particular really sticks out for me tonight.

Young Ebby Calvin Laloosh is making his first appearance in a Triple A game for the Durham Bulls when he gets into an argument with his catcher Crash Davis over the pitch he wants to throw.  In the argument he states that he wants to “Announce his presence with authority” to disastrous results.

Watch...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZaLdrVWDdQU&feature=related

After 12 long years in the majors playing with my beloved Blue Jays, Roy “Doc” Halladay finally got his chance to play in the post season with the Philadelphia Phillies...and he ANNOUNCED HIS PRESENCE WITH AUTHORITY.

Showing the composure and command he has displayed throughout his entire career, Halladay weaved some magic on the mound; pitching just the second no-hitter in MLB Post season history since Don Larsen pitched a perfect game in the 1956 World Series for the Yankees, much to the delight of Phillies fans and most likely to the fans he left behind with the Jays.  He is only the 5 th player in MLB history to pitch 2 no hitters in a single season and the first ever to do it once in the regular season and once in the playoffs. 

To say that he beat the Reds tonight by himself can be an exaggeration especially in a team sport like baseball.  I mean sure he pitched a no hitter, but you need to score runs too. Did I mention he was 1 for 3 at the plate with an RBI and a run scored? 

How can you not cheer for this man?  He has never displayed the “me first” attitude so many professional athletes seem to have surgically implanted the second they sign a pro contract.  Extremely loyal to the team that drafted him in 1995 and gave him his first start in 1998, Doc stayed with the Blue Jays far longer than I ever expected him to.  Never quite able to put the team around him that could get over the humps; namely the Yankees and Red Sox; Halladay waved his no trade clause in December which allowed the Jays to trade him to the Phillies.

I raised a glass and wished him well the day he was sent to the Phillies, hoping that he would be able to finally get his shot at the goal he so richly deserved.  The chance to pitch in the post season, and show the world what we Jays fans have known for years. 

He didn’t disappoint.

With the Phillies having arguably the best pitching rotation that a post season team has been able to put forth in years, it is a very good bet that we will see much more of Doc this post season.  Which begs the question....what in the world can he do for an encore?

POSTSCRIPT

I feel compelled to add a comment that was placed on my FB page in response to my blog entry.  My friend Quint is by far the smartest baseball man I have ever met and SHOULD be working in the Majors somewhere as a color man who could provide valuable insight into the game and all of its aspects.  Because he is my friend I am hoping that he won't sue me because I failed to ask him before I added this segment... it was just too damn good not to share with the world.  

From the laptop of a great friend... Quint Lange.

" I don't know if I've ever felt this way as a baseball fan before. Obviously thrilled he got the no-hitter, but extremely disapointed it couldn't have happened with the Jays. He's probably the best player ever to wear a Jays uniform (for more than 3 months, that is), and there's no one I would rather have had lead them to a title. Even in 92-93, the leaders were Carter-Alomar-Molitor-Stewart-Winfield, guys who came from outside the orginization. To have a guy like Halladay win with Toronto would have been amazing. Until now, he's been like our secret. This awesome player people have heard about, but have never really seen. Now he's on the national stage, and I can already see the path he will take to the Hall of Fame, where he will inevitably be inducted wearing some other team's cap. I couldn't be happier for him, but can't help imagining what it would have been like to see him in the post-season with the Jays."

How A Perfectly Good Addiction Was Ruined...

I try my best to follow news stories from numerous sources.  I watch it on TV where I can.  What I miss I try to catch online.

For those of you who don’t get your news fix online, many news agencies provide comment areas on stories in order to help promote dialogue between individuals. A noble effort, as discussion of the events are great way’s to promote understanding of various points of view.

Or at least that is the theory… in practice… not so much.

It seems that many individuals now take it upon themselves to hate on the media for sharing stories that happen in the world, if the stories they read don’t promote their particular point of view.

Case in point…

One story about families of Canadian soldiers killed in Afghanistan hoping that the Harper Government will extend the mission in that country beyond the 2011 withdrawal date brought about 2 diametrically opposite accusations on the news agency that broke the story.

The first was shock that a “leftist pinko Media source that hates the Harper Government” would do a story that somehow promotes the military involvement in Afghanistan, against “their obvious biased against the military and the Government itself”

Within two entries, another commenter said this agency is “nothing but a Government propaganda machine” whose sole purpose is to promote this government regardless of whether people want our military in Afghanistan or not.

Which one is it people?

The discussion stopped being about the families who despite losing a child in the war are hoping to have the government continue on, and started being about whether or not the news agency should have been doing the story, and the fact that they were being slanted... seemingly on BOTH sides of the arguement.

Since neither side of the debate seemed happy that the story was done at all, it indicated to me exactly what the story was...“fair and unbiased reporting.  Piss everyone off and you probably have it exactly right. 

Many news agencies, including the one in question here, have done countless number of stories that cover the protests against the military actions in countries like Iraq and Afghanistan.  They bring us the information about the deaths and incidents that occur over there to let us know what is going on.  The battles our men and women are fighting over there and the results and human interest stories associated with it.

But then we hear these clearly partisan viewers/listeners/readers  throw around terms like “media propaganda”, that haven’t the single bloodiest idea what the hell they are talking about.  They haven't a clue on what being fed propaganda really is.  They have no knowledge of what a TRUE government operated media source is like.  They take for granted the stories they hear, never once taking a moment to actually imagine what it would be like to live in a third world country, or one with a dictator who controls all media sources. 

Imagine living in North Korea, or Iran, or China.  Do you think the news they receive in those countries are “fair and unbiased”.

Now I know what you are all saying… “Raymond, you are just being extra sensitive to this because your girlfriend is a reporter over in Afghanistan now.  You used to be a reporter and are a part of the media so you HAVE to defend their slimy actions”.  

Perhaps. 

I have to admit, I bristle a little when the media is criticized in this way because I was in news myself and because I know many people who are currently.  While there are some who have trouble separating their own personal views from the stories they work on, for the most part, we ALL just want to tell the story.  Give you the facts and let you formulate your own opinions on it from there.

Sadly, the public doesn't seem capable of giving the media the benefit of the doubt anymore because all media is under suspicion of being overly slanted one way or the other.  In my mind, there are two reasons we have those suspicions.

I blame MSNBC and FOX News SOLELY for the lines that have been drawn in the sand and for perpetuating the belief that all news sources are slanted and only provide the fact that they want to show.

For the longest time I had both FOX News and MSNBC to feed the obsession/addiction I had, and then I had to stop.  The frustration was getting too much to bear.  No longer were the events making the headlines for these agencies.  No, now these corporations were reporting on how their COMPETITION was reporting on the news.  It became a bigger deal to report on how the other guy was reporting the events, than the damn events themselves.

I can’t even tell you about the countless stories that were done on BOTH SIDES concerning the RATINGS for these channels.

Are you kidding me?  Ratings?  RATINGS?  We have war, natural disasters, economic turmoil, social injustice, environmental calamity, political unrest abroad and right here at home… and you MORONS ARE TALKING ABOUT RATINGS?  You are pissing and moaning about how the “other guy” runs their channel?

I cancelled those subscriptions and have not gone back to them, despite the aggressive pull that they have on me and my news addiction. What I want is INFORMATION… not INFOTAINMENT.  So while part of me understands the mistrust, I am not willing to paint all media with that same brush.  I have weeded out the worst offenders and am still getting all the info I need to get through the day.

So I have a suggestion for you all.  If you aren’t sure about a story you’ve heard or read, check another source’s account of the event in question.  A little extra time devoted to broadening your horizons and perspective on the topic will make for a more enlightened mind and greater understanding of what's going on around you.

And for crying out loud, stop killing the damn messenger... just don't subscribe to the bad ones!  

Can Someone Please Tell Me How To Turn This Damn Thing Off?

It is exactly 4:18 am as I write this and once again I find myself being unable to sleep.  I should state that I did get to bed around 10 last night and so I have already had 6 hours, far more than the normal 3 hours per night I have had in the past year or so. 

So many things racing through my head I thought that I might write down what they are in an attempt to perhaps put them to bed… at least for another couple hours so I can get a little more shut-eye.

First and foremost in my thoughts is my Pixie.  I know she is safe and that I have little to worry about, but it can’t be helped.  Having a loved one in a war zone makes you think of what is going on over there.  More than that… I think about the things that she has seen that she doesn’t / can’t talk about.  All of these thoughts are completely irrational.  But I think them anyway.

I wonder what my daughter is up to and the troubles and trials she faces as a pre-teen.  So many things are happening earlier for children these days.  Their bodies are developing earlier and therefore so do their interest in each other.  They are exposed to drugs sooner.  They take on stresses associated with achievement (academic, athletic and otherwise).  I can’t help but wonder if I have done a good enough job to get her ready for it all.  Have I let her know that she doesn’t have to be afraid to talk to me if something serious is on her mind?  And how am I going to handle it should something happen where she is in trouble of some sort?  Do I have the tools to handle these events myself? Am I a good example to that precious gift I was given 11 years ago?

Is this house ever going to sell?  Will my clients accept the proposals I made last week?  Should I replace this laptop since it seems to be crapping out already or should I try to get it repaired?  When will I see my Pixie again? Are my Carolina Hurricanes going to play well this year? What am I going to have for supper tomorrow? Am I ever going to get the handle on how to 5-pin bowl consistently?  What should I get for my next tattoo and where?  How are my friends and family doing?  Am I a good friend… someone that people think they can trust?  Have I hurt anyone with action/inaction? How long is the laundry going to take me today?  Where does the future lie for my career?  When exactly am I going to get some bloody sleep? Am I going to get a chance to get out and golf again this year?  What is going to happen when I die?  How will I be remembered?  Is there any milk in the fridge for cereal before work?

*Sigh*…It’s now 4:42.  I think I could get to sleep… but with so many unanswered questions…how can I?

Ode to Friday

I have always fancied myself as a bit of a poet. (It’s comes part and parcel with being the "Hopeless Romantic" I am) From a very young age, I would put pen to paper and find express my feelings in rhyme... and then I learned that poetry doesn’t HAVE to rhyme and the flood gates opened.  I lost a great deal of what I wrote as a young man during several moveswhich, perhaps, is for the best. I would hate to have to look back at the train wreck of a kid I was and see how tumultuous and dramatized I made those days out to be.

None the less I have never lost the habit of writing poetry...sometimes I like to make people laugh with it... especially when writing Haiku.

The Japanese poetry form is traditionally used to describe nature in some form or another.  I always associated peaceful relaxing words that described the beauty in the world around us... and then I got bored with it one day and started getting goofy.  For instance one of my favourite Haikus is on Canadian Men’s Curling Championships on TV

The Brier is on

Men sweeping and screaming “HARD!”

Someone get my gun...

I wrote a Haiku earlier today in my Facebook status to celebrate the arrival of Friday... but sometimes happiness for a particular subject requires a little more elaboration than the friendly confines of 5-7-5 syllable poems can provide.  Hence... an ODE TO FRIDAY

Friday, dear Friday, how we love you

You give us a chance to say to work **** YOU!

The eve of our weekend finally arrives

To brighten our dull and dreary lives

Monday’s are grim, Tuesday’s a bore

Wednesday’s the hump, on Thursday we’re sore

But Fridays bring joy and dreams of rest

And that is why we like you the best.

We meet at the pub and raise a glass

And tell the world to kiss our ass!

Yes Friday to all is truly a Godsend...

What?... Oh no... I HAVE TO WORK THIS WEEKEND!

Ok so it’s not the greatest poem you ever read... what the hell do I look like, Edgar Alan Poe?  Sheesh... everyone’s a critic!  Guess I will have to stick to my Haikus.

Here’s wishing everyone a safe and happy weekend wherever you are...

REDHEADS, NOT WARHEADS!

The 50^th anniversary of the Flintstones debut is today which brings about one question all men have asked each other at one time or another.  Whether it be in a locker room or at a party somewhere when they are half (or completely) hammered, invariably a Flintstones discussion boils down to this single query.

Betty or Wilma?

Ladies, I know you are rolling your eyes right now saying, “For crying out loud you losers, it is a bloody cartoon!  You NEED to determine exactly which FICTIONAL ANIMATED CHARACTER you’d rather have sex with?”

Sadly ladies… yes… yes we do.

And it doesn’t end there… When the anniversary for Gilligan’s Island comes around, millions of men in thousands of watering holes around the world will be getting into heated debates over Mary Ann or Ginger.  

Want me to go on?  Ok… we also debate about Betty Boop vs. Jessica Rabbit, Morticia Adams vs. Lily Munster, Samantha (Bewitched) vs. Jeannie (I dream of Jeannie) and of course we can’t forget Betty vs. Veronica.

It’s true.  I am guilty of it myself.  And I have been witness to some pretty heated debates over the whole thing with compelling arguments for… ok look… I realize how ridiculous it is to try and tell you all that there is ANYTHING compelling involved in discussions that surround fictional characters that men would like to get in the sack.  (I guess the good thing is that it seems to be a lot safer to discuss this than religion or politics.  That’ll get a guy hurt… or at least kicked out of the party.)

I bring this all up because there is just one thing I am trying to understand.  Why no love for the redheads?

Seriously, guys.  In every conversation I have had of this nature, if there is a redhead in the question, you guys will turn to the blonde or brunette… leaving the “Ginger” alone at night waiting by the phone.  For crying out loud a South Park episode even created “Kick a Ginger” day.

I happen to love redheads, and not because I am currently in love with one now either.  Virtually every ginger I have met has been beautiful, intelligent, and has a fiery disposition.  Hell, the fact that there are so few of them means that they are unique… why have the “same old same old” when you can be with someone intriguing and mysterious?  So guys… what’s the problem?  As the Flight of the Conchords so aptly sang… “REDHEADS NOT WARHEADS!”

(For the record, I know DAMN WELL that personality traits, physical appearance and intelligence has as much to do with a person’s hair color as it does the name of the doctor who helped your parents bring you into the world in the maternity room.  But look… I need to come up with something to talk about tonight and this is the best I can do so…)

Anyway… I’m advocating for all the “Gingers” out there; and one in particular that I love to bits and don’t get to see nearly enough of. (Yes, yes I know, enough with the schmaltzy sick love crap.)

Oh, and for the record, to wrap up any loose ends… Wilma, Ginger, Jessica Rabbit, Morticia, Jeannie and Veronica.

Whupped!

What is it about being sick that turns me into such a pansy?

Now EVERY SINGLE WOMAN READING THIS has already answered… “It’s simple Raymond… you’re a man!”

Now I am the very first to admit and have said many hundreds of times that I am “a dime a dozen”.  There isn’t anything overly unique about me in the least.  Love sports, good food, my girlfriend, my daughter, farting, video games, good times with good friends… I am your average Joe in virtually every aspect but one.

I should be dead… Twice.

I’ve told my story before in this blog, so I won’t belabor it anymore…but you would think that someone who has been near death on a couple of occasions would be able to suck it up a little and get through those really “terrible” colds and flues.

My dad had a saying for me when he would come to my games and I would be injured slightly somehow… enough to stop play.  I could always hear that voice in the crowd (and even in my head during the games where my dad couldn’t be in attendance) that would say; “Long way from the heart”.  

It was Dad’s way of telling me to persevere.  To get up and fight on through the barrier that was placed before me.  It’s a lesson that I don’t think enough people learn during their lives, but that is another blog topic for another day.

So there I was, lying in bed…head feeling like mucus and snot was about to explode forth out of every orifice of my cranium because of the sheer pressure.  My throat filled with what felt like broken glass… every shard digging into the sides of my esophagus; hacking and wheezing from coughs that would rattle my bones.   And then I heard my dad say in my head… “Long way from the heart”.

To put this into perspective… my girlfriend, a reporter currently embedded with our troops in Afghanistan, in the middle of a war zone where we hear about rocket attacks and IED’s and all sorts of human atrocity felt the need and strong desire to take care of me while I was sick with a COLD.  With more than enough on her own plate to focus on she made sure to contact me when she could and send me the “good vibes” to make me feel better because she knew I was going to be a wreck.

Suffice it to say that EVERY WOMAN READING THIS BLOG would have lived through all of this while getting the kids ready for school, and then preparing to head of to a long work day where they are over worked and under appreciated only to come home afterward and deal with the family all over again.  

On the other hand, maybe it isn’t my gender that is causing the increase in diffuclty handling illness.  Perhaps this is an age issue.  I am NOT OLD in ANY stretch of the imagination.  At 39, I still haven’t reached my prime (at least that is what I am telling myself in the hopes that I have not lived all this time and not fulfilled some romanticized “destiny” that I have for myself… again….another blog topic for another day)

However it is true… when I was younger, I don’t recall being sidelined like this by a mere cold.  Hell or high water I was going to do what needed to be done and there wasn’t a cold, twisted ankle, brain aneurysm that was gonna stop me.  Now a cold comes along and you may as well prepare me for last rights…if I believed in that (another blo…you get the point.)

What I am trying to say is:

A)    Women are tougher than men.  Case closed.

B)     I am not sure where my intestinal fortitude disappeared to, but I am hoping that it comes back to me at some point.  

It might actually come in handy.

Shameless...

This is really who I am in a nutshell.

All about letting people know what I am up to at all times whether they have an interest or not.

I make my Big Screen Debut as an actor this month at the Edmonton Film Festival, in the movie “Sure Shot Dombrowski 2, The Coaching Years”

Here’s the trailer

http://www.westerndirectives.com/ssd2.html

So… as you can probably guess this is a comedy that will make hockey movie connoisseurs hearken back to classics like “Slapshot!”, with a smaller budget and of course without the great, Paul Newman.  I have a miniscule role…I mean… I have a pivotal role in the film and the whole show couldn’t have been possible without my contribution.  (I may have been on for only about a minute and a half total time… but it’s a KEY minute and a half… plus it’s a speaking role so.)

A friend of mine recommended me to the Director when they were looking for the character I play (which after you get a chance to see the movie I am not sure if I should thank him or go punch him in the arm).

I have always enjoyed acting.  A small part of me thought that it was because I got a chance to play characters that were far more interesting than me.  However, what it really is all about is my love of telling stories and entertaining people.  

I’ve had a chance to play a number of roles; the most memorable for me was that of Jonathon Brewster in the comedy classic “Arsenic and Old Lace”.  There is something that about playing a serial killing homicidal maniac that is very liberating.  Best part of the whole experience was making the crowd hate me so much on the final night… that they actually BOOED me among the clapping during the curtain call.  Awesome!

There are many things in my life that I am thankful for and very often there come times where you wish maybe you could have done a few things over, or taken a different path.

Being on stage (and ESPECIALLY being in front of the camera) makes me think that perhaps I could have been a successful actor if I had chosen to do so.  It’s quite a rush to get into character and hear the laughter.  That being said… the term starving actor/starving artist wasn’t created for nothing now was it?

Anyway, if you get the chance, or would like to see my debut in the most important movie role I have ever been a part of… here are the dates and times.  Also it will be available in DVD for those out of country lovers of small budget hockey movies.

Screening Dates

Oct. 2 - Edmonton International Film Festival; Empire Cinema City Center
Oct. 4-7 - Globe Cinema Calgary, AB
Oct. 8 - Jan Cinema Grand Prarie, AB
Oct. 8 - Grande Cinema, Kelowna, BC
Oct. 13 - St. Mary's Theatre,  Prince Albert, Saskatchewan
Oct. 17, 18  Metro Cinema, Edmonton, Alberta
Oct. 21 Roxy Theatre, Saskatoon, Saskatchewan
Nov 10 - Atlantic Cinema, Woodstock New Brunswick
Dec. 9 & 10 RPL Theatre, Regina, Saskatchewan

If you like the flick and thought I was amazing in the show… then by all means, feel free to shower me with the praise and adulation I so richly deserve.  If it wasn’t your cup of tea, then…feel free to shower me with the praise and adulation I so richly deserve.

My only concerns now… developing my IMBd file and Paparazzi.

TRUE Grit

It seems the theme of the blog this week has been about perspective, and today is no different.

I have gained a new respect for an entire generation of women who sat by their mailboxes anxiously awaiting word from their husbands/boyfriends who were off to war.

My girlfriend has landed herself in Afghanistan as a part of her job as a reporter to keep Canadians abreast of developments with our troops and what is going on in the region in general.  This is her 4^th “tour of duty” in Afghanistan… my second being home while she is in a war zone.

The first time around, I have to admit, was not good on my nerves.  Until that point I had never had anyone in my life who was placed “in harm’s way” through a job.

Let me be perfectly clear here for just a second.  I say “in harm’s way” and immediately you get pictures of her carrying a gun and going “Rambo” on the bad guys.  (You will recall that I have openly admitted to having a flair for the dramatic.) While I have seen her angry, and this blog may put her in this state, she is NOT on the front lines.  She is NOT doing the fighting.  She is merely reporting, as hundreds of other journalists have done in years past, and doing so with the most protection that can be afforded anyone.  Moving on... 

I had no idea what to expect.  I watched the 24 hour news channel almost exclusively for her first 5 week tour, not only to see her at work, but to give me the extra comfort of knowing she was safe.  She stayed in touch with me in emails and called wherever she could, probably fully aware that I was a little nervous since this was all so new.  That contact was very comforting to me and it was greatly appreciated. (Even if she wasn’t COMPLETELY forthcoming with certain details about a particular rocket attack that Canada’s Minister of Defense was subjected to.)

This time around I’m not even close to as nervous as I was previously.  I KNOW she is being careful and safe.  She stays in close contact with me…it’s just like it is if she were at her normal posting. Contact is the same... everything is copasetic.  No complaints at all.

And then I saw a little clip on the History Channel about World War I.  I didn’t stay with it long, but seeing those old black and white clips got me thinking about how difficult it was for the wives of the brave soldiers who went overseas to fight; about how they had so few options to stay in contact with their loved ones.  Moreover it highlighted how very easy I have it.

No e-mail, Skype, Instant Messenger, or 24 hour news networks.  These women waited at home and took on the jobs the men left behind, all the while waiting for letters from their loves, and praying that they didn’t receive “THAT” letter.

Knowing how much my brain wanders when left to its own devices, I can say without a doubt that I would have required hospitalization in a mental ward if I were dealing with this at that time.  (Some think that I need that type of treatment now… again…I digress.)

The fear of the unknown is a powerful thing. What these women endured mentally and emotionally, while maintaining homes, raising children and running the factories that supplied the war effort is beyond my comprehension.  It is the benchmark of strength and resolve I can only hope to achieve for myself.

 If you have grandmothers who lived through this… and you haven’t done so already… ask them to tell you about it (if it isn’t too painful) and take note of just how strong they really are. 

And pray that you won’t ever have to be tested the way they were.

Making Mountains Out Of Valleys

The high school football team from the town where I grew up is visiting the community where I live today for a game tomorrow. The following day I have the opportunity to visit some high school friends for a little reunion of sorts over good food and a few drinks.

The two of these events have forced me to do a little thinking (like I need any help with that) and I have come to a determination:

I have a flair for over-dramatization. (I can see the shock on the faces of my friends as they read this)

When people asked me about my high school years, I immediately broke into a diatribe about all the pain and suffering I endured.  That by far, those years were the worst of my life and that you couldn’t pay me enough to go back and live them again.

Now, to be fair (or to rationalize this stance of mine…you can decide yourself), not every teenager comes THIS CLOSE to death, TWICE.  A brain aneurysm at the tender age of 16 that hospitalizes you for 2 and half months and results in an 8 hour surgery that could have killed you changes your perspective a little bit.

I’d go on, ad nauseam how, even though I was a starter on virtually every sports team in the school, I was a nerd and considered among the “great unwashed” by the class population.  I was uninvited to parties, with few friends (certainly no girlfriends) and by and large just not popular in the least.

“Misery… thy name is High School!” I cried.

As I mentioned earlier, these pair of events that are taking place in the next 72 hours, have given me time to think…think about what a JACKASS I was for spreading that bullflop.

What is it about those high school years that make people dramatize them so?  Movies, TV programs, songs and novels have been written about them.  More importantly to me… why am I so hell bent on making such a big deal about it?  Is my bar of achievement set so ridiculously low, that simply making it through 4 years of school is now a badge of honor? 

What I “survived” is a pittance compared to what so many can TRULY describe as teenage hardship.  I think of gay students learning about their sexuality and being forced to hide it for fear of abuse; poor children whose parents are working two jobs to make ends meet and cant afford the “newest” and the “best” of anything; abused children trying to hide their bruises and scars; visible minorities who deal with racial fear and hatred.   THESE PEOPLE can certainly claim high school hardship.

What in the world do I have to complain about?  Not the best player on any of the teams I was a part of, I still played a great deal.  Traveled to all the tournaments, enjoyed the camaraderie during the bus trips, and honed skills that I have the pleasure of sharing with young men today as a coach.   

While it’s true I wasn’t invited to parties, I certainly wasn’t ostracized by anyone.  People would talk with me.  Ya, they made fun of me at times… but they did that when I was a being a knothead and fully deserved to be made fun of.  Nope I didn’t have any girlfriends, but I could talk with virtually any of them and they would talk with me too.  I walked to school on a regular basis with some of them and they treated me well.

Just like every kid in high school I desperately wanted to be popular…and then I nearly died.  

Coming so close to death on two occasions can change your perspective on things.  And I I’m being brutally honest with myself… I was my own worst enemy. 

I grew a healthy contempt for the people I tried so hard to be like and with that separated myself from almost everyone.  Outside of a very few people, I didn’t allow myself to be close with anyone.  “Who needs those idiots anyway?  They go out every weekend getting hammered so they blackout and can’t remember anything? Doing drugs…what a bunch of losers…all of them…they can all kiss my ass!” I would pout.

Pathetic.

Looking at the words I just wrote, I can only tell you how ashamed I feel at even thinking them, never mind perpetuating them all these years to any poor sap who was silly enough to mention high school within earshot of me.

It had never dawned on me that ALL of these people are simply trying to make it through these years the best way they can.  While some have more advantages than others…even those advantages bring their own set of problems.  (Why am I suddenly getting a flashback of The Breakfast Club in my head?) 

So I am going to enjoy the game tomorrow, although I am torn on who I am going to cheer for.  And I am really going to love getting together with some amazing people that I care for a great deal. And when the conversation invariably turns to the years we spent together... I will reminisce instead of commiserate.  

Ooops... I did it again (with apologies to Ms. Spears)

The more things change the more they stay the same.

Much like Wyle E Coyote who continues to be thwarted by the Roadrunner, or Homer Simpson who can barely make it through an hour without proclaiming, “d’OH!”; I have done it again.

Long time readers of my blog (all 7 editions) are aware that I am lacking in what I call an “edit” button between my brain and my mouth.  If I have something on my mind, I share it, right or wrong.  (Others may say that what I am really lacking is common sense… but I digress)

It happened again last night.  After a particularly difficult personal situation happened to me, I made a comment on my Facebook status, which lead to the whole event being described in public for the world to see.

In retrospect, these personal issues and pains that I share (I have done this in the past) are probably best held to myself.  I am sure that some looked at what I wrote and said… “There he goes again, looking for sympathy on a problem he should be dealing with himself”.  

They are probably right…except…

1)      I received a number of comments, both publicly and privately, from people that I hold very dear to me that offered condolence, advice, support and most importantly, perspective.   Reading their comments, taking the time to contemplate their words and appreciating the fact that they care enough to offer their support…gave me perspective and peace.  A situation where I COULD have found myself over-emotional and depressed was turned into a more positive experience that I have learned from.  

2)      I was not divulging anyone else’s secrets or situations.   Gossip is a terrible thing.  I’ve been the subject of it in the past and it sucks.  HARD.  So when I fail to use that edit button I make sure that the information moving on is my own.  When people tell me to put things in “The Vault”… that is where it stays. (And no, Seinfeld viewers, the key to said vault is NOT alcohol.)

3)       Sammy Davis Jr. probably sang it best… I gotta be me!  As someone who continually mulls over ever little detail in his life in my brain until the horse isn’t only dead… the flesh has been flogged off its bones and those bones pounded into a fine powder…it’s imperative that I speak out.  My very sanity depends on it.

Look, I know we all have problems and issues and there are some things that need to be kept quiet for obvious reasons.  Even someone as open as I am knows that.  With that said, I was reminded of something that I am more than proud to share and I don’t care who sees it.

I have some AMAZING friends.  Great people that are perfect examples of what we can all strive to be as humans.  Loving, caring and genuinely concerned for my well being.  There to pick me up when I am down, ready to rejoice with me in triumph.  I don’t see all of them nearly as often as I would like, but all of them have influenced my life and make me strive to be as great as they are.  If that is the only thing I learned from my big mouthedness on this occasion (and thanks to my friends it wasn’t), then that is good enough for me.

Now you may have read all of this and are asking yourself, “What the hell is this self-indulgent tripe?   Doesn’t this guy know when to keep his mouth shut?” 

Here are your answers…

These are the express written opinions, feelings, emotions, thoughts of a dude who’s simply trying to muddle through this existence doing as much good as he can in the world and trying to figure out how to do right by the people he cares for… and people in general…while throwing in a little humor here and there to make it interesting.  

As far as knowing when to keep my mouth shut… clearly I think you all know the answer to that by now.

Eureka!

I’ve figured it out.

I know what is wrong with the World today.  

The answer may surprise you… and then again, it may not.

Paris Hilton.

Once again proving that if you have enough money to purchase a small country you can get away with anything, Paris Hilton avoided a felony and was given 1 year probation for possession of cocaine and obstruction of justice in a Las Vegas courtroom.  

You can find the details of the story here. http://wonderwall.msn.com/tv/paris-hilton-pleads-guilty-in-las-vegas-arrest-1573044.story?GT1=28135

This is not her first run in with the law.  Recently she was arrested for possession of pot in South Africa during the World Cup.  She claimed then that the pot was someone else’s and the charges were magically dropped against her as some poor schlep plead guilty for her.

She tried it again this time around.  When the officer caught her with the cocaine in the purse, she said that the bag wasn’t hers, despite it having numerous credit cards, 1300 dollars and some rolling papers that belonged to her.  (Hey… it worked the first time, right? I wonder if that was part of the deal when people auditioned to be her BFF, back when she was running that reality show of hers.  I'm only speculating that was the premise of the show, I certainly couldn’t bring myself to waste my time watching that tripe.)

What is most incredulous in all of this is the fact that her lawyer and the prosecution claim that she is “taking responsibility” for her actions.

REALLY?  Putting the blame for breaking the law on her friends is taking responsibility? That alone is enough to make you question society’s moral compass as to what is right and wrong.  I didn’t realize the bar for personal responsibility was set so bloody low.  Equally as incredulous is a statement that she was not given any special treatment.

Famous for no other reason than the fact her family has more money than you or I could ever spend in 100 lifetimes, she flaunts her celebrity status in the face of the world.  

Sadly I know young ladies that actually look up to this woman and wish that they could be like her.  How sad our world has become when SHE is the type of individual that our children are looking up to.

The judge stated that her next run in with the law greater than a minor traffic violation will put her in jail for a year.  I’d like to believe that to be true, but sadly you and I know that will not be the case.  She will find a way to use her family’s money to “make the trouble go away”, and she will be off to the next movie debut or whatever the hell she does with her time.

As for blaming her for the ills of society, well… perhaps that is a little on the harsh side.  However, she has highlighted once again that not everyone is equal under our laws, or at the very least, that some people are just more equal than others.  Until EVERYONE is equal and treated the same way when laws are broken...the problems of the world will remain.

Some of you may call me a “hater” and say that I am just jealous.  All I know is there’s no way in hell a black man/Average Joe/homeless person her age, caught in the same situation would have been given the same latitude.

Go ahead… prove me wrong.  I dare you.

We'll be back after this message...

One week into the blog and I thought I would examine how this is all coming along.

So far so good I suppose.  I have managed to submit an entry every day this week and enjoyed doing so, meaning there is a good chance I will be able to keep this up.  Before I started I had a preconceived notion as to how it would play out.  I thought that I would be pointing out the humorous things that have happened in the world and would present my own “take” on them.  But this first week seems a little “preachy” for my liking. 

While the “Blogiverse” is supposed to be a place where you can share your opinions without concern, I want to hold myself to a little higher standard.  We get enough finger wagging and moral outrage from our media outlets, and frankly, we don’t need me joining the party. There is so much misery and pain in the world, is it necessary for me to add my anger and disappointment?

So with that said...I want to pause for a moment and share this with you.

I like you. (This is a big step for me because I used to hate “people”.)

I like you and all of the good that you have brought into the world. Whether you volunteer in your community, put your life on the line through your job, donate to charity, read a book to your child or just plain old go to your job every day and help keep this economy going.  What you are doing is important.

You probably don’t get the credit you deserve for doing all of this, so along with telling you that I like you... I want to thank you as well.  Your efforts are appreciated. 

Those of you who know me personally... thank you for helping make me the person that I am.  Thank you for the positive (and sometimes negative...hey I have to be honest) influences that you have brought into my world.  I want you to know that I am doing my very best to be a positive influence in your world and that if you need help and there is a means for me to do so, I will do all I can.

Which includes tormenting you into reading my blog at every opportunity...hey; this blog won’t read itself now, will it?

Pathetically Apathetic

Watching the news from Afghanistan as they are preparing for their elections, I couldn’t help but feel a little ashamed of a vast majority of Canadians and Americans.

In Afghanistan, the Taliban have placed threatening letters on mosques stating that citizens had better stay away from the polling stations and not bother to vote under threat of violence, kidnapping, or even death.

Some understandably are choosing to stay away and not vote, while many others will literally risk life and limb  in the process.

Insert my shame here.

Voter turnouts for municipal, provincial and national elections in Canada are pathetically low and have been for as long as I can remember.  I remember a media report from one particular election that almost celebrated a turnout that had reached 40 percent.  40 FREAKING PERCENT!  THAT is something to be PROUD of?

The excuses for not voting by the apathetic majority are equally lame.

                                                                *********

“I’m working on election day.”

Not only are there usually 2 advance polls set up for these individuals who are working on Election Day, employers BY LAW are required to give you time off in order to cast a ballot.  I am aware of businesses that even transport their employees to their voting stations to take part.

“I don’t know anything about the candidates.”

For a whole month, candidates are busy trying to let the public know about who they are and what they stand for in an effort to gain office.  There are public debates, news stories, door to door canvassing.  Basically, if you don’t know anything about the candidates, then you have purposely been ignoring them, which is ridiculous since these people are going to be making decisions on how tax dollars are spent and forming public policy.  Don’t you think it is in your best interest to, you know, FIND OUT WHO IS GOING TO BE RUNNING THE FREAKING SHOW?

“It doesn’t matter who I vote for because...”

There are a few different excuses given that start out this way so I will break them down.

“...all politicians are crooks.”

Now I have already admitted to a healthy distaste for politicians in the past and for good reason.  How many times does a person have to be promised something during a campaign, only to watch their elected representative either change their position or simply fail to follow up on it?  It happens far more times than I care to count.  It is NOT an excuse to avoid partaking in the process. 

“...the election is already decided by the time my votes are counted.”

This is a distinctly Western Canadian standpoint that I have heard.  The way our political system is designed, the majority of the seats in the House of Commons are filled with representatives from Ontario and Quebec.  They have the greater population of course and therefore need more representatives.  Very often in the past, the eastern provinces have voted one way and the Western provinces voted another (which incidentally ALWAYS leads to talk of Western Canadian separation.)  While it can be very frustrating for Western Canadians to deal with this fact, one should never take for granted that every seat...every vote could be the difference.  There are plenty of examples in history where seats have been won by the smallest of margins.

“...I don’t like any of the candidates/...none of the candidates represent my views.”

While I look at this as a bit of a copout, since there are usually so many candidates of varying opinions and beliefs that virtually everyone’s point of view has a representative, I have to accept that this indeed may be the case.  I STILL have an answer for you. 

Purposely ruin your ballot.

By ruining your ballot you let the government know none of these people have it right and none of them are deserving of my support.  It is a form of protest that is tangible and at the very least means that you have done your duty in the democratic process.

                                                                ********

I missed voting just once in my life.  It was my very first chance to vote.  I had just turned 18 and asked my mom to bring me down to the polling station so I could cast a ballot.  I was so excited for the opportunity.  I was an adult now and my voice and opinion actually MEANT something.  I studied the candidates’ platforms diligently and figured out who best represented the way I thought at the time. 

My mom said no.

An argument ensued.  I didn’t understand it.  This was a chance to have your say and my mom was completely disinterested giving me a couple of the excuses I had listed above as the reasoning for not taking me.  I fought very hard, but it wasn’t happening.

I was so disappointed, I actually cried (yes even then I was overly sensitive).  I swore on that day that I would NEVER miss out on another election.  Hundreds of thousands of men and women risked their lives and DIED to give me the chance to exercise this right.  I was not about dishonour them with my apathy.

After all... it’s not like you could get killed or kidnapped for simply casting a ballot... RIGHT?