My best friend’s father passed away last week after a long and courageous battle with cancer, and tonight I said goodbye to him during Prayer services.
From the moment Andy shared the news I had been dreading seeing him for that very first time. Someone like me who has always managed to find the right thing to say in virtually any circumstance, was nowhere close to being able to come up with the words to express the grief I was feeling for him.
I walked into that house that I had spent so much time in growing up, ready to burst into tears at first sight. And to my surprise, looking at Andy, working diligently making the final preparations to the music list he was preparing for the service…none came.
Of course neither one of us could spend any real time looking each other in the eyes. I think we both knew in our hearts that we wouldn’t make it if we did. So he kept plugging away at the task at hand and I spent my time focusing on my God daughter, and the rest of the family. Making the small talk that I knew would help get me through.
The procession tonight was another story all together. I paid my respects to this great man and then made my way down the line of the family.
And then I got to Andy…
During the embrace I wanted to tell him how lucky he was to have a father as great as his. And that his dad would be so proud of the man and father that he has become. And all I could muster was…
“I love you man.”
Now understand I don’t have any regrets as far as what I said, because I mean every word. I have mistakenly referred to friends close to me as “brother” in the past, but this will never be the case with Andy. He has been there for me during my darkest hours, and through moments of great joy. Which is exactly the way his father was to the people he cared for. Claude didn’t just have friends… he had family.
Because I couldn’t share this with Andy in person, I have decided to share a story about this wonderful man and a few thoughts here. Call me a coward, but I can’t think of anything else I can do
I remember Claude at first, mostly because he was the first of my buddy’s fathers that I was taller than. I always enjoyed going over to Andy’s place and hoped that his Dad would be home for that mini-ego boost that my low self-esteem so desperately needed.
He had always greeted me with a smile and asked me how school was going. I would lie to Claude and tell him I was doing “pretty good”, when really what I meant was…”everything about school is brutal except for the sports”.
As I had grown older and went through some adventures that left me living with my parents and spinning my wheels in a dead end job, I found myself spending all my spare time at Andy’s house (he was living with his parents at the time). We would sit in the basement, watch sports, and talk about our favorite teams, music and movies.
One day I said out loud…”You know I wish we could get paid to do this”. Andy always being a little smarter than me says...”Well you could always get into radio…”
I light bulb went off and soon we found ourselves applying for college. During the process, I was back in their basement, making final preparations of my portfolio. While Andy had run upstairs to grabs the snacks Claude walked into the basement and came over to see what was up.
After a bit of small talk I came out and asked him.
Do you think I can do this? Do you think I could get into radio?
He looked me square in the eyes and said…
“Raymond…I think that when you set your mind to it… you can do ANYTHING.”
He smiled, as he always did, and walked away.
Now the skeptic might say the only reason he said that was so that he might actually be able to enjoy his couch again and keep the Pepsi and snacks in the damn house.
But I have never forgotten those words, and I will always cherish that genuine support and belief he showed me.
Andy… the legacy your father leaves in this world is evident in the long and happy marriage to the wonderful woman he cherished so, and in the beautiful, caring, loving children he raised. You are everything that your father was…and he is so very proud of you.
I am only sorry I couldn’t say this to you in person…but please know I mean every word.
