A Frightful Halloween Tale

One particularily busy Halloween night, I answered the door to find to young lads probably about a year or two older then the norm to see out Trick or Treating.

One had dressed up like Dracula and while he was a little older, I don't mind handing out the candy when the effort is made. 

His partner was a completely different story.

Standing there in what he was likely to be wearing any normal school day, he had his pillow case out and said "Trick or Treat".

I asked him flat out..."What the heck are you supposed to be?"   His buddy laughed, as I am sure it wasn't the only time he had heard the question a few dozen times on the night.

"I'm a rap gangsta." he says, and flashes me a gang sign and snickers to himself.

"Oh really?", I reply.  "Where is your high tops, your basketball jersey and cap twisted to the side?  Where are the jeans, half falling off your ass or the fake 9mm you're gonna use to bust a cap in my ass if I don't hand over the goodies?"

They both laughed out loud until there came an awkward silence when they realized I wanted an answer.

"Can you gonna give me some candy man?

And in one statement his costume was finally revealed to me.

"You aren`t a rap gangsta.  You are dressed up like a BUM.  A regular beggar on the street who begs for food from people".  Laughter once more.

"What's so funny?  There's nothing great about posing as a beggar.  Homeless people and beggars have nothing and need the charity of others to LIVE... not just get a bloody sugar fix."

I grow weary of seeing this kid and decide to take drastic measures.

"Look I don't give candy to anyone who can't bother to get dressed up unless they are willing to work for it."

His eyes got big as the snow had just fallen and I hadn't had the chance to shovel the walk just yet.  "I'm not shovelling the walk for you if that's what you want."

"A fantastic idea, but no.  Drop and give me 20."

A crowd of other children, who had gatherered to watch the proceedings began laughing. 

"You cant be serious.  You want me to do 20 push-ups?" he said incredulously. "It's the only way you are getting your candy.", I deadpanned.

And so he dropped and proceeded the excercise.  "Help him count them out guys." I encouraged the crowd.  The happily obliged.

At the conclusion of the excercise I handed him a couple of peices of candy and slightely embarrassed he and his buddy walked off.  Some of the other kids asked right away if I was gonna make EVERYONE do push-ups.  I laughed and said "No...", speaking up loud enough for the two leaving to hear, "I only make kids who are too old to bother get dressed up for Halloween do push-ups...unless of course you want to do them on your own."  Some of them volunteered.  They got extra.

Happily, I did not get my home egged or the trees toilet papered that evening as payback...and these days, considering what I did, I think that is a bit of a miracle.

Word got around and over the following years, not a Halloween Night has gone by without having a child volunteering to drop and give me a few push-ups, just for fun.

Have a safe and Happy Halloween one and all!

Finally... A Hit!

Ok... so in looking at the grand scheme of things, perhaps...just perhaps... I have chosen the wrong vocation in life.

After being without a computer for over 8 days...8 of the longest, most excrutiating days of my life...I have decided that I need to get my ass into an adult learning centre that that will teach me some computer skills (Chicks dig guys with skills!) so I don't have to rely on the GEEKSQUAD to restore my damn computer the next time it blows up! (And with my luck.. make no mistake... it WILL blow up)

Thankfully I was able to utilize my BlackBerry for the most important tasks... instant messaging my Pixie, Facebook updates, YouTube video watching, Carolina Hurricane score updates... but I was unable to complete my duties as a responsible blogger.  So many issues have gone undiscussed...

1) My consumption of the Double Down from KFC and how my arteries did NOT clog instantaneously
2) World Series picks (I say San Fran in 6...any team that can knock out Doc is good enough for me)
3) Confusion about people of Faith (Facebook discussion handled this pretty well though)
4) Ridiculous expectations of Edmonton Oiler fans on their young stars (Seriously people...get a grip and stop bitching that they aren't scoring a hat trick a night...sheesh)
5) Playstation Move... yes it is THAT AWESOME!
6) My anger at GEEKSQUAD for witholding my laptop for an inordinate amount of time (even though I did get it within the 5 to 10 days they promised... I WANTED IT YESTERDAY DAMN IT!)
7) THE GAME & THE BET (Canes vs Leafs...Dec 28th, ACC in Toronto...IT'S GO TIME!)

I may still do these as individual postings as some of them are not affected by the passing of time since I had my laptop...but there are always new things to discuss...so they all may yet fall by the wayside.

In the meantime... I better look up that Adult Learning Centre phone number and book myself in for that course...I don't think I could go through all this again.

So THIS is what it's like to be an addict...

Miner Miracle

I’ve had a few days off from this harsh mistress called “Judge and Jury” (call it the Thanksgiving Turkey hangover) but the world certainly hasn’t stopped.

The most compelling story of all the ones out there now has to be that of the Chilean miners, trapped under the earth for over 60 days while crews worked frantically to come to their rescue.

From the moment this story came to light, I couldn’t help but thinking of a great old song my dad loved to play when I was young…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CS3ErDN50Qk

Tonight, this story has a much better ending than that of this great Jimmy Dean tune to be sure, but I have to say that I was not convinced that it would turn out as well as it did.

Think about this… 33 miners buried so far beneath the earth that you could fit the CN Tower between them and fresh air.  Sending a metal tube (The Fenix… perfect name for this operation as these men are certainly rising what would have felt like certain death) no wider than a man’s shoulders up and down this bored out hole on a pulley system, rattling against the rocks as it goes down only to come back up and do it all over again.  Millions of things could have gone wrong and somehow, disaster was averted and today we are not talking about a tragic event that killed 33 men.  Instead we have a story of triumph over the longest odds.  We are talking about human ingenuity and cooperation that saved lives.

While the celebration of this victory should be embraced and enjoyed, the mining industry had best be prepared for the intense scrutiny it is about to face.  Before the miners were even brought to the surface there had been questions about the horrible working conditions these men put themselves in.  The lack of safety standards, accusations of regulations being ignored altogether…all need to be addressed so that we can minimize the risk of seeing this happen anywhere else.

In closing… a note of thanks to anyone with a gig that puts their own lives in danger.  Regardless of the reasons why you do it, whether it is saving the life of someone else, or furthering industry… I appreciate your work.  Because I certainly don’t have the cojones to do it myself.

Thanks!

So this is Thanksgiving weekend in Canada and millions of us will take time to ponder what we are thankful for in our lives.  The cliché thing to do in a blog would be to list all that the author is thankful for and add it to the pile of thousands of other blogs that will do the same...and since I LOVE a good cliché...

I am thankful for my daughter.  I have said this to everyone who would listen...she is the best thing that my name has ever been associated with.  It really is just that simple. You are my own little miracle. 

I’m thankful for my family.  I know I don’t see you all that often but you are in my heart.  There have (and always will be) some tough times to go through...but one thing will never change.  I love you.

I’m thankful for my friends.  Unlike my family, you people all have a choice as to whether or not you want to see me...and for some unknown reason you still want to hang out.  You have been with me through some pretty terrible times...propped me up when I needed it... kicked me in the ass when I REALLY needed it...come to my defence and shared in my triumphs.  My hope is that I have/can be the friend to you that you have been to me.  I lost one of you this year and it made me think that I need to do a better job of not only staying in touch with you all but just being a better friend in general. 

  I’m thankful for my Caniacs.  I still think about my visit to Raleigh, NC to watch “our boys” play live, for the first time cheering on the HOME team.  You all welcomed me with open arms.  Visiting on line is one thing... but when we had a chance to meet face to face after close to ten years...well you made me feel like I was one of the gang who had been to every game like the rest of you.  A more generous, welcoming group of people I will never find.

I’m thankful for the Bodnar family... who while on that trip to Raleigh arranged for my meeting with my hockey hero Ron Francis.  It was the thrill of my life and I look at those pictures with a lot of joy and a little lump in my throat.  A wonderful, surreal dream comes true that I will remember for the rest of my days.  Most amazing of all of that is that you didn’t know me from Adam, but heard that I was a huge fan and went to work arranging it for me.  Thank you just doesn’t seem like enough.

And I am VERY thankful for you, Carolyn.  (I know I am gonna get shit for this being “over the top” but it has to be said.) There is not a single part or aspect about you that I don’t give thanks for every single day since we got together over three years ago.  No matter where you are in the world, or how long we are apart... I NEVER feel alone with you in my life. You are the perfect example of what can be achieved in life with hard work, integrity and desire.  You’re the most beautiful, caring, intelligent, thoughtful, loving person I have ever had the good fortune of meeting.  What you see in me, I will never know or understand...but I am very thankful that you see it and want to be a part of my life.  I love you Pixie...with all my heart. 

I could go on about all that I am thankful for (there is so much... really I am one lucky dude)... but I won’t. 

Here’s wishing you all the very best this Thanksgiving... and beyond.

In Doc I Trust...

My favourite baseball movie is Bull Durham... sure some like Field of Dreams, but for my money nothing is quite like Bull Durham.

One scene in particular really sticks out for me tonight.

Young Ebby Calvin Laloosh is making his first appearance in a Triple A game for the Durham Bulls when he gets into an argument with his catcher Crash Davis over the pitch he wants to throw.  In the argument he states that he wants to “Announce his presence with authority” to disastrous results.

Watch...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZaLdrVWDdQU&feature=related

After 12 long years in the majors playing with my beloved Blue Jays, Roy “Doc” Halladay finally got his chance to play in the post season with the Philadelphia Phillies...and he ANNOUNCED HIS PRESENCE WITH AUTHORITY.

Showing the composure and command he has displayed throughout his entire career, Halladay weaved some magic on the mound; pitching just the second no-hitter in MLB Post season history since Don Larsen pitched a perfect game in the 1956 World Series for the Yankees, much to the delight of Phillies fans and most likely to the fans he left behind with the Jays.  He is only the 5 th player in MLB history to pitch 2 no hitters in a single season and the first ever to do it once in the regular season and once in the playoffs. 

To say that he beat the Reds tonight by himself can be an exaggeration especially in a team sport like baseball.  I mean sure he pitched a no hitter, but you need to score runs too. Did I mention he was 1 for 3 at the plate with an RBI and a run scored? 

How can you not cheer for this man?  He has never displayed the “me first” attitude so many professional athletes seem to have surgically implanted the second they sign a pro contract.  Extremely loyal to the team that drafted him in 1995 and gave him his first start in 1998, Doc stayed with the Blue Jays far longer than I ever expected him to.  Never quite able to put the team around him that could get over the humps; namely the Yankees and Red Sox; Halladay waved his no trade clause in December which allowed the Jays to trade him to the Phillies.

I raised a glass and wished him well the day he was sent to the Phillies, hoping that he would be able to finally get his shot at the goal he so richly deserved.  The chance to pitch in the post season, and show the world what we Jays fans have known for years. 

He didn’t disappoint.

With the Phillies having arguably the best pitching rotation that a post season team has been able to put forth in years, it is a very good bet that we will see much more of Doc this post season.  Which begs the question....what in the world can he do for an encore?

POSTSCRIPT

I feel compelled to add a comment that was placed on my FB page in response to my blog entry.  My friend Quint is by far the smartest baseball man I have ever met and SHOULD be working in the Majors somewhere as a color man who could provide valuable insight into the game and all of its aspects.  Because he is my friend I am hoping that he won't sue me because I failed to ask him before I added this segment... it was just too damn good not to share with the world.  

From the laptop of a great friend... Quint Lange.

" I don't know if I've ever felt this way as a baseball fan before. Obviously thrilled he got the no-hitter, but extremely disapointed it couldn't have happened with the Jays. He's probably the best player ever to wear a Jays uniform (for more than 3 months, that is), and there's no one I would rather have had lead them to a title. Even in 92-93, the leaders were Carter-Alomar-Molitor-Stewart-Winfield, guys who came from outside the orginization. To have a guy like Halladay win with Toronto would have been amazing. Until now, he's been like our secret. This awesome player people have heard about, but have never really seen. Now he's on the national stage, and I can already see the path he will take to the Hall of Fame, where he will inevitably be inducted wearing some other team's cap. I couldn't be happier for him, but can't help imagining what it would have been like to see him in the post-season with the Jays."

How A Perfectly Good Addiction Was Ruined...

I try my best to follow news stories from numerous sources.  I watch it on TV where I can.  What I miss I try to catch online.

For those of you who don’t get your news fix online, many news agencies provide comment areas on stories in order to help promote dialogue between individuals. A noble effort, as discussion of the events are great way’s to promote understanding of various points of view.

Or at least that is the theory… in practice… not so much.

It seems that many individuals now take it upon themselves to hate on the media for sharing stories that happen in the world, if the stories they read don’t promote their particular point of view.

Case in point…

One story about families of Canadian soldiers killed in Afghanistan hoping that the Harper Government will extend the mission in that country beyond the 2011 withdrawal date brought about 2 diametrically opposite accusations on the news agency that broke the story.

The first was shock that a “leftist pinko Media source that hates the Harper Government” would do a story that somehow promotes the military involvement in Afghanistan, against “their obvious biased against the military and the Government itself”

Within two entries, another commenter said this agency is “nothing but a Government propaganda machine” whose sole purpose is to promote this government regardless of whether people want our military in Afghanistan or not.

Which one is it people?

The discussion stopped being about the families who despite losing a child in the war are hoping to have the government continue on, and started being about whether or not the news agency should have been doing the story, and the fact that they were being slanted... seemingly on BOTH sides of the arguement.

Since neither side of the debate seemed happy that the story was done at all, it indicated to me exactly what the story was...“fair and unbiased reporting.  Piss everyone off and you probably have it exactly right. 

Many news agencies, including the one in question here, have done countless number of stories that cover the protests against the military actions in countries like Iraq and Afghanistan.  They bring us the information about the deaths and incidents that occur over there to let us know what is going on.  The battles our men and women are fighting over there and the results and human interest stories associated with it.

But then we hear these clearly partisan viewers/listeners/readers  throw around terms like “media propaganda”, that haven’t the single bloodiest idea what the hell they are talking about.  They haven't a clue on what being fed propaganda really is.  They have no knowledge of what a TRUE government operated media source is like.  They take for granted the stories they hear, never once taking a moment to actually imagine what it would be like to live in a third world country, or one with a dictator who controls all media sources. 

Imagine living in North Korea, or Iran, or China.  Do you think the news they receive in those countries are “fair and unbiased”.

Now I know what you are all saying… “Raymond, you are just being extra sensitive to this because your girlfriend is a reporter over in Afghanistan now.  You used to be a reporter and are a part of the media so you HAVE to defend their slimy actions”.  

Perhaps. 

I have to admit, I bristle a little when the media is criticized in this way because I was in news myself and because I know many people who are currently.  While there are some who have trouble separating their own personal views from the stories they work on, for the most part, we ALL just want to tell the story.  Give you the facts and let you formulate your own opinions on it from there.

Sadly, the public doesn't seem capable of giving the media the benefit of the doubt anymore because all media is under suspicion of being overly slanted one way or the other.  In my mind, there are two reasons we have those suspicions.

I blame MSNBC and FOX News SOLELY for the lines that have been drawn in the sand and for perpetuating the belief that all news sources are slanted and only provide the fact that they want to show.

For the longest time I had both FOX News and MSNBC to feed the obsession/addiction I had, and then I had to stop.  The frustration was getting too much to bear.  No longer were the events making the headlines for these agencies.  No, now these corporations were reporting on how their COMPETITION was reporting on the news.  It became a bigger deal to report on how the other guy was reporting the events, than the damn events themselves.

I can’t even tell you about the countless stories that were done on BOTH SIDES concerning the RATINGS for these channels.

Are you kidding me?  Ratings?  RATINGS?  We have war, natural disasters, economic turmoil, social injustice, environmental calamity, political unrest abroad and right here at home… and you MORONS ARE TALKING ABOUT RATINGS?  You are pissing and moaning about how the “other guy” runs their channel?

I cancelled those subscriptions and have not gone back to them, despite the aggressive pull that they have on me and my news addiction. What I want is INFORMATION… not INFOTAINMENT.  So while part of me understands the mistrust, I am not willing to paint all media with that same brush.  I have weeded out the worst offenders and am still getting all the info I need to get through the day.

So I have a suggestion for you all.  If you aren’t sure about a story you’ve heard or read, check another source’s account of the event in question.  A little extra time devoted to broadening your horizons and perspective on the topic will make for a more enlightened mind and greater understanding of what's going on around you.

And for crying out loud, stop killing the damn messenger... just don't subscribe to the bad ones!  

Can Someone Please Tell Me How To Turn This Damn Thing Off?

It is exactly 4:18 am as I write this and once again I find myself being unable to sleep.  I should state that I did get to bed around 10 last night and so I have already had 6 hours, far more than the normal 3 hours per night I have had in the past year or so. 

So many things racing through my head I thought that I might write down what they are in an attempt to perhaps put them to bed… at least for another couple hours so I can get a little more shut-eye.

First and foremost in my thoughts is my Pixie.  I know she is safe and that I have little to worry about, but it can’t be helped.  Having a loved one in a war zone makes you think of what is going on over there.  More than that… I think about the things that she has seen that she doesn’t / can’t talk about.  All of these thoughts are completely irrational.  But I think them anyway.

I wonder what my daughter is up to and the troubles and trials she faces as a pre-teen.  So many things are happening earlier for children these days.  Their bodies are developing earlier and therefore so do their interest in each other.  They are exposed to drugs sooner.  They take on stresses associated with achievement (academic, athletic and otherwise).  I can’t help but wonder if I have done a good enough job to get her ready for it all.  Have I let her know that she doesn’t have to be afraid to talk to me if something serious is on her mind?  And how am I going to handle it should something happen where she is in trouble of some sort?  Do I have the tools to handle these events myself? Am I a good example to that precious gift I was given 11 years ago?

Is this house ever going to sell?  Will my clients accept the proposals I made last week?  Should I replace this laptop since it seems to be crapping out already or should I try to get it repaired?  When will I see my Pixie again? Are my Carolina Hurricanes going to play well this year? What am I going to have for supper tomorrow? Am I ever going to get the handle on how to 5-pin bowl consistently?  What should I get for my next tattoo and where?  How are my friends and family doing?  Am I a good friend… someone that people think they can trust?  Have I hurt anyone with action/inaction? How long is the laundry going to take me today?  Where does the future lie for my career?  When exactly am I going to get some bloody sleep? Am I going to get a chance to get out and golf again this year?  What is going to happen when I die?  How will I be remembered?  Is there any milk in the fridge for cereal before work?

*Sigh*…It’s now 4:42.  I think I could get to sleep… but with so many unanswered questions…how can I?

Ode to Friday

I have always fancied myself as a bit of a poet. (It’s comes part and parcel with being the "Hopeless Romantic" I am) From a very young age, I would put pen to paper and find express my feelings in rhyme... and then I learned that poetry doesn’t HAVE to rhyme and the flood gates opened.  I lost a great deal of what I wrote as a young man during several moveswhich, perhaps, is for the best. I would hate to have to look back at the train wreck of a kid I was and see how tumultuous and dramatized I made those days out to be.

None the less I have never lost the habit of writing poetry...sometimes I like to make people laugh with it... especially when writing Haiku.

The Japanese poetry form is traditionally used to describe nature in some form or another.  I always associated peaceful relaxing words that described the beauty in the world around us... and then I got bored with it one day and started getting goofy.  For instance one of my favourite Haikus is on Canadian Men’s Curling Championships on TV

The Brier is on

Men sweeping and screaming “HARD!”

Someone get my gun...

I wrote a Haiku earlier today in my Facebook status to celebrate the arrival of Friday... but sometimes happiness for a particular subject requires a little more elaboration than the friendly confines of 5-7-5 syllable poems can provide.  Hence... an ODE TO FRIDAY

Friday, dear Friday, how we love you

You give us a chance to say to work **** YOU!

The eve of our weekend finally arrives

To brighten our dull and dreary lives

Monday’s are grim, Tuesday’s a bore

Wednesday’s the hump, on Thursday we’re sore

But Fridays bring joy and dreams of rest

And that is why we like you the best.

We meet at the pub and raise a glass

And tell the world to kiss our ass!

Yes Friday to all is truly a Godsend...

What?... Oh no... I HAVE TO WORK THIS WEEKEND!

Ok so it’s not the greatest poem you ever read... what the hell do I look like, Edgar Alan Poe?  Sheesh... everyone’s a critic!  Guess I will have to stick to my Haikus.

Here’s wishing everyone a safe and happy weekend wherever you are...