"Caught a bolt of lightning...."

Music has always spoken to me.  Not just in the American Bandstand, “It’s got a great beat and I can dance to it.  I’ll give it an 86, Dick.” vein, either.   

Nope.  More often than not, I get chills from music that I find especially powerful.  No band’s music has related to me more than that of my favorite band, Pearl Jam.

Many will argue and throw plenty of alternate names into the mix, but to me there is no greater song writer than Eddie Vedder.  The raw emotion drips from virtually every word. Whether he sings about a boy who does something drastic so he will not be ignored again(Jeremy), the horrors of war and how it affects the people left at home(World Wide Suicide), or desperation one feels as they plead with a loved one to continue fighting for their lives(Just Breathe), his lyrics have always rung true.

I shared that with you, so I could share this…

The title of this entry is a portion of a lyric from the song, Nothingman.

“Caught a bolt of lightning… cursed the day he let it go.”

That single line perfectly describes how I feel about my life on many days since I changed jobs three years ago.

For over 10 years, I was involved in the on-air aspects of radio broadcasting.  8 of them as a news/sports anchor, the rest as a morning show host.  Since I never made it to a big market station some would suggest that means I wasn’t very damn good at my job, but from the response I receive from others in my community (even to this day), perhaps I was better than I thought.  Regardless of the talent (or lack thereof), this was the dream gig for me.  

Hell, it’s the only job I am actually qualified for.  

You see, this is how it is.  Some women fall in love with carpenters, and they’re men can build them a dream home.  Other women fall for mechanics, which can repair their cars whenever they need.  Still others hook up with teachers, who can educate their children and prepare them to face the world.

My girlfriend fell for a jackass that can tell her who sang the last song she heard on the radio and can pronounce the name of the winner of the Women’s US Open Tennis title. (And she certainly doesn’t need me to do that for her, seeing as she’s been bringing people important news stories from around the world for many years.)

So… why did I leave it if I loved doing it so much?  Well, for those of you who are unaware, being a radio personality is far from a lucrative gig. (Unless of course you are in a major market…this has its own downside of being at the mercy of “The Ratings”) There came a point where I had to take on the extra job of being a sales person at the station in addition to the Morning Show host.  And soon afterward, the need came for me to move to a full time position in sales (at the risk of losing my client list had I chose not to continue).  

Success for me has been fleeting at times.  I often find myself frustrated, and am met with frustration from others that I am not more profitable.  I put forth my best effort, try to meet with as many people as I can, but something is missing. 

The passion and feeling of accomplishment I get in the day to day.  The feeling I am doing something worthwhile each and every day for the people around me.

Certainly I take great pride in the success of my clients who are seeing their business grow with proper marketing strategies.  It’s great to hear about the success they have, which not only helps feed their families, but helps keep people employed in the community.  There is honor in helping to create those achievements. 

With that said… the thrill of that morning ride from 6 till noon and sharing silly stories or important information that people need to start their days is missing.

I have spent a lot of time evaluating my life and the choices I am making in the past 3 years.  Is there change in my future?  Most certainly, there is.  It is, and MUST BE that way for everyone.  (I fully realize the dangers of admitting all of this in a forum such as this; it’s a chance that I am, apparently, willing to take.)

In the meantime, I would use this little story as a cautionary tale that you can use in your life.  When you catch that bolt of lighting…hold onto it for dear life and enjoy the ride.  Through the thick and thin, hold on till you find the next one to latch on to. 

Lest you curse the day you let it go.