Hello... I've waited here for you....

EVERLONG!

Oh... Hi there, Mr. Grohl. It's 3:30 in the morning and I can't sleep.  And there is only one reason.  You, sir.  You and your friends, the FOO FIGHTERS.

I wanted to take a few moments to perhaps tell you why, if you can spare a little time?  I know you are well on your way to Walla Walla, Washington for the show that you are going to play there in less than 24 hours... but I have to get this off my chest.  Okay...where to begin, where to begin?  Okay... how about I start with this...

YOU ARE ONE AMAZING MOTHERFUCKER! I...

What?  Hold on Mr. Grohl...

My wife is telling me that despite you calling me a "motherfucker" all night as a term of endearment... I can NOT return the favor.  Even though I PROMISE I mean it as such.

Can I at least call him Dave?

Okay; She says I can call you Dave or Mr. Grohl.  (Look, I have to make sure I get this squared away now, since she has told me flat out that I am just "Dust in the Wind" if you ever decide to swing by my Calgary home and offer to take her away.  And really... I couldn't blame her.  You are Dave MOTHERFUCKING Grohl!  *Ahem*)

Me in the hat, My beautiful wife, and my "Brother from Another Mother"who helped make this possible!

Moving on...

I have always enjoyed your music and appreciated your talent, but I was one of the few thousand "motherfuckers" in the Dome that was watching you for the first time live. As was my wife... but you can't hold that against her the way you would me.  She is a national reporter and her job takes her all over the world at moments notice.  Many times, in many places, your paths have never crossed despite her best efforts.

I bought these tickets for this show as a surprise for her, kinda forgetting that she really loved you.  So when the cat was finally let out of the bag... she squealed like a little school girl.  Delight really doesn't begin to describe what she was feeling.

Anyway, just hours ago you gave the city of Calgary a show that I don't think it has seen... EVER.

2 hours and 30 plus minutes of in-your-face-melting-rock-and-roll, mixed with awesome power ballads and crowd engaging conversation that displayed a TRUE love for what you do and an internal promise to keep an oath that ensures no one leaves one of your shows without getting at LEAST their money's worth.

You have no idea how much I respect that. You have no idea how much I LOVE that.

Does this man love his job or what?

The problem Dave... is that you fucked up my neck!

That's right. You fucked up my neck and I want to know if you think just because you fell off that stage in Sweden and broke your leg, that now means you can go around the world, fucking up other people's body parts?

How did I do it?

Well it started right off the top I suppose.

I was very excited to hear my favorite Foo Fighters song "Everlong", (Jeebus, what gave THAT away, right?) since that was the first song my now wife and I listened to, together when I learned that she liked the Foo Fighters (acoustic version, but still)

And BOOM!  There it was... kicking off the show!  I am singing my heart out along with you. (pardon the "near" lyric steal there...)  I just KNOW this is going to be an amazing night.

You follow that up with more of your classics, and drop in a great tune from your latest album called "Something for Nothing".

I am thinking to myself... "HOLY SHIT, what the hell was I waiting for to see these guys?"  Just moments later, you gave me SHIT for not coming out to see you sooner.  As though you were reading my mind.  (Not only can you steal my wife if you want Dave... I discover you are PSYCHIC?  NOT FAIR!)

But then it happened.  When you did the real damage.  It seems apropos, considering what I just mentioned. How I had "All my Life" to see you before and never took the time?  And I could feel it coming when you started into it.

"All my life I've been searching for something, something never comes never leads to nothing
Nothing satisfies, but I'm getting close, Closer to the prize at the end of the rope..."

You laid into that song with some very tasty licks and - while my wife was facing the stage and I was standing behind her- I was bouncing and thrashing my head round and round in time with you while you were screaming out those lyrics...

"DONE, DONE, ONTO THE NEXT ONE"
"DONE I'M DONE AND I'M ONTO THE NEXT ONE!"

And then I felt it... A little "pop" in my neck.

Now understand sir, that it didn't stop me from enjoying the show.  Hell, it didn't even stop me from enjoying the song as I kept thrashing my head along with you right to the bitter end.

Once it was over I began to feel my neck and started to think to myself; "Oh man, this is REALLY going to hurt later."

And as I was drinking my wobbly pop to try to easy the pain, I started thinking that if YOU can make it through a show on a broken leg... then I can make it through the rest of this night with a messed up neck. (Even though I don't have Johan from Sweden to put my vertebrae - I think it is C3 or C4- back in place)

Handicapped seating at the Saddledome... MUCH better than expected.

And besides... I don't wanna miss what is coming up next, right?

Damn skippy!

You took us "motherfuckers" through the rest of the show. You had a great laugh WITH and not AT the mullet guy. (Can you believe that motherfucker's hair, Dave?  Seriously.  Wow... just... WOW!)

And look, I KNOW you were playin' the crowd.  Tellin' us we were the loudest you have ever heard.  And we ate it up and gave you everything we had.  And THEN some.  I screamed my lungs out. I stomped on the stands.  And you sat their in your throne with all those "Lazers and shit" ("Kids stay in school, don't do drugs.") and for just a second on that big screen I looked in your eyes... and for a moment I thought that you believed we really WERE the loudest crowd you had ever heard.

Photo:Andy Leblond "Kids, stay in school. Don't do drugs."

And once again I saw that joy on your face... on the faces of the entire band, for that matter.  The joy you get when you KNOW you have done what you have set out to do and have accomplished your goal.

To you, Mr Grohl, to the Foo Fighters... a job VERY WELL DONE.

Now Dave... if I were to give this a "rating" of sorts... I would give this night 4 and 3/4 Foo Fighter Thrones out of 5.  The ONLY way this night is any better for ME, is if Everlong was done acoustically (I am a romantic softie, sue me Dave)... and if I didn't screw up my neck (That part of the night is on me... I should have done some stretches or something in anticipation.)

You may not care because, in the end, I am just one of those "motherfuckers" in the stands tonight... but I wanna let you know that I WILL be back to see you all again.  And I'm sorry for missing those earlier opportunities.

It won't happen again.

Photo:Andy Leblond

Capitalism... or just plain Creepy?

It's a VERY lazy Sunday morning and I am scanning my Facebook news feed, when I happen across a group of pictures taken by a friend of mine while he is on an adventure in Dallas, Texas.

Now when I think of Dallas as a huge sports fan, I think of the Cowboys, the Stars, The Mavericks.  Sometimes I think of those Friday nights at 9pm while I was growing up.  I'd be visiting my grandparent's place and my grandma would demand quiet while she watched that famous late night soap and the evil villain that she loved to hate so much; JR.

But this picture made me think of something else that occurred in Dallas. Something I am sure that most people would rather forget.

Courtesy:Tim Day

Now as a Canadian, I can't even begin to comprehend the magnitude of the assassination of the leader of my country, nevermind a man who was as loved (and hated) as much as John F Kennedy. Hell, I can hardly imagine an assassination, period.  But I would think it is safe to say that this is arguably the darkest moment in American political history.  (Again, this comes from a Canadian's point of view. I am certain there are other moments that my American friends would argue otherwise.)

Now you can say what you want about those who believe in the whole conspiracy theory.  Many people blow them off as wackos who are unwilling to face the facts that this WAS a one man job.  People who don't trust anything associated with the government.

And maybe they are.

I've watched Oliver Stone's JFK and was intrigued by what was presented.  Some amazing performances in that flick.  But that is not what I want to talk about here.  My thoughts on the JFK assassination aren't the issue.

This picture is.

Hippocrates said: "Healing is a matter of time, but it is sometimes also a matter of opportunity."

And clearly, this is someone using opportunity to their advantage.  I am not clear as to WHAT advantage that may be.  If they were selling something, or if this was part of a tour that someone could buy tickets for.  Maybe someone chose to take Hippocrates' words to heart in the healing process.

I can tell you one thing... I looked at this picture this morning and was - for a lack of better terms - disgusted.

A president was killed YARDS AWAY from here... and this sign happily points to the area where one of  the speculated assassins stood to complete the "hit".

What the hell is going on?

This sign reminds me of the signs that are used to direct people to the Town and County Fair's you see in rural communities across North America.  Hell, the only thing missing are the bloody balloons tied to each end! What are "they" thinking?

It is pretty well known that during JFK's time, Dallas was not the friendliest of cities for the President.  So maybe this is what can be expected in this city when it comes to JFK.  Someone, or a group of people trying to take advantage of the man's death, decades after the fact, believing that most people wont look at the sign and feel the way I did.  Believing visitors will be too excited to take a look from the vantage point and won't bother with the kind of thought I have put into a bloody sign.

But whether you were pleased with JFK's death or not (and YES there were those who were happy with it... so knock off your criticism of that last phrase)... another question comes to mind when I see this sign.

Is it really even necessary?

I mean really; this is where a president was assassinated.  Does anyone need reminding EXACTLY where this happened?  If so, please tell me... for what purpose?  To what possible end?

Maybe that sign would be good enough for those people who believed his assassination was necessary for America...(how ANYONE could think it was good for the US is beyond me, but I digress)... but for those who would suggest that they are simply choosing to "remember" the event in such a way so that it is never repeated...I ask you:

   Don't you think this moment in time deserved better than this?

"This Is The Greatest Day of My Life..."

Now how many times have we said THAT phrase?

I have lost count.  An exaggeration of that feeling of joy never felt before.  It pops out of your mouth so easily that it can lose true meaning after time.

Now I would like to think that I have used the phrase properly throughout my life.  As a child, most times it was tied to receiving birthday or Christmas presents.  As a teenager, I didn't go on many... oops misspelled that...should be ANY dates... so I tied that phrase to achievements in sports.  Provincial championships in Fastball, My first ever no-hitter; Basketball games where I shot the lights out (thanks to help from great coaching and some amazing teammates).  Later on in life, it was the first concert I ever went to...Pearl Jam of course...

Each time I would like to say I was using the phrase, incrementally.  Although some might argue surviving brain surgery for an aneurysm when I was 16 MIGHT have topped all of those without question... I would argue that, as a kid, you just don't know any better, and your perspective is skewed.  And besides, that phrase may have been reserved for a couple of other very important people in my life... and I had no intention of taking it from them.  (Love you Mom and Dad)

Moving on.

I have lost count how many times I have said it, but I know exactly when I stopped saying it.  It was on THIS day 16 years ago when this young woman was born.

My Sweetpea!

 Now my daughter has heard this stories so many times I am sure SHE has lost count... but I am going to share it with you anyway.

I have wanted to be a Dad since I was about 20-21.  I think it is the greatest and most important job any man could ever have.  And when Taylor's mom was pregnant, I was beside myself excited.  And I was every bit the corny soon-to-be father you see on television.  I would read Shakespeare and play Pearl Jam to her in her mother's womb.  (I know, I know... give it a rest with the Pearl Jam will ya Raymond... to you I say... NEVER!)

Finally, the day came.  It was a pretty long delivery... certainly not the easiest experience for her mother.  But finally, she was here.  And of course I am crying now even thinking about that very moment.

The Doc scooped her up and had me cut the cord.  And soon she was wrapped in her towel and I was holding her.  I can't recall if those medical books say it's babies or dogs that can't see all that well when they are born... so I decided that I would do the one thing I had been doing for the past 9 months and talk to her.

And as I moved my finger around her neck and chest, she reached up and grabbed it... and she has had me wrapped around her fingers ever since.

THAT, my friends... was the GREATEST day of my life.

As I said, I believe being a dad is the most important job any man could ever have.  And I take that responsibility very seriously.  Because, let's face it - you don't get a manual with children - and girls in particular are not especially easy. (I know boys have their challenges too, I don't have a son, but I have been told that they can be a handful as well and I trust those parents judgment.)

As Taylor's Dad I have always wanted to show to her that there are just 2 things she needs to remember.

1.  Daddy will ALWAYS love you.  No matter what.  ALWAYS!

2. You can achieve ANYTHING you want when you set your mind to it.  And that your Dad will do anything and everything I can to help you along the way.

I hid this picture for a long time... worried about boys!

Over the years, I was the Dad who would cut out of work early (Sorry, Boss) to go read Lemony Snickett's Series of Unfortunate Events to her class one day a week.  I was the Dad who, to this day, let out a Ric Flair "WOOOOO!" at the end of her dance routines just for that chance to see her giggle, despite the elbow to the side I would get and the strange looks from other parents who would say "that type of behavior isn't appreciated"

And there were some AWESOME times.

But every coin has two sides... and there are difficult times too.  Times when a Dad has to be a parent.

AND MAN DO THEY SUCK!

The very first time there was any real discipline was walking her out of a store to go wait in the car with her when she was about 4.  It was also the first time she screamed out "I HATE YOU!"  I was able to keep my cool and say "That's okay Taylor, because I still love you. And we are still going to the car."; but inside my heart was breaking.  No manual for when THAT happens.

Of course I got over it, and grew as a parent as she grew.  And watching her achievements just made me more proud every day.

Of course, with that you have to be careful too.  With those achievements you have to be sure that you don't put too much pressure on them not to make them feel like the only way you will love them is if they keep succeeding, but in the same respect, helping them set goals; asking them what they would like in their life, and then helping them reach those goals by showing them what is needed to achieve it.

It is a fine balance.  But it is one that as a dad, that ALL good dads are trying to do because of reason number one.  They love their children... they way I love my Sweetpea.

Now time and circumstances have taken me away from my Taylor, and I don't see her nearly as much as I 'd like to.  So being an important part of her life is more difficult but it is something that I am still trying to achieve.

And our disagreements are a lot more harsh than an errant "I hate you" while storming out of a Walmart because she can't have a toy she wants.  But through all of the amazing highs and difficult  lows... all she needs to remember... all ANY child needs to remember when it comes to their dad...

1.  Daddy will ALWAYS love you.  No matter what.  ALWAYS!

2. You can achieve ANYTHING you want when you sets her mind to it.  And that your Dad will do anything and everything I can to help you along the way.

August 1, 1999 was the greatest day of my life.... until I win the lottery.

(C'mon Taylor, you have to admit... that would be a pretty cool friggen day, am I right?)

THIS Is What Happens When I Am Left Alone Too Long...

So I just completed binge watching the Netflix series "Daredevil" last night and I have to say... OUTSTANDING.  

I thought about turning this blog entry into a review of the series and its characters.  But I decided to go with a topic that springs from comment my wife made about the 3rd episode.  Which incidentally was the episode she "checked out" of the series and allowed me to continue along on my own.

Daredevil was kicking the crap out of a LARGE number of Russian mobsters when my wife looks over to me and says... "You really like these darker characters don't you?"

Of course, as always she was right.  It started WAY back in the day with EVERYONE'S favorite mutant...

RIP, Bub.

Wolverine.  

Then there was the one symbol that every bad guy feared on sight.

Frank FREAKIN Castle!

Punisher

And of course the most uncompromising of the Watchmen...

*hrrm* Get your hands off me before I chew your thumbs off!

Rorschach! Wait... that is my dog... hold on...

*hrm* I'm using this more than my Sidekick

Rorsch.... DAMN IT!

*hrm* Finally, the blogger get's it right!

Walter Kovacs aka RORSCHACH!

In every case, my love of these characters began for more of the superficial reasons.  In Wolverine's case, it was the fact he was Canadian ('eh), and those kick ass claws.  For Punisher and Rorschach... the costumes caught my eye at first, and the fact that they were "Regular Joes".

But as I grew older and continued reading and maturing, there was something much deeper to my enjoyment. Deeper... and darker.

In all three of these cases, I loved how they were able to go out and deal with the evils in their worlds.  

On many occasions Wolverine had moral battles with the rest of the X-men, namely Professor Xavier, because they were unwilling to "do what was necessary to get the job done".  If a villain was threatening innocent people or other team members.  you didn't just stop him...you EVISCERATE THEM.

The Punisher was born out of revenge.  His wife and children murdered by mobsters in a Central Park shootout... the war vet (clearly a "Black Ops" kinda soldier based on his abilities) wages a one man war on crime.  His family's killers are the first to die, and he continues from there.  

And then, there was Rorschach.  His philosophy was just like his mask.  There is no grey area in his world.  Everything was black or white.  You were either good or evil.  And if you were evil...prepare to suffer. (Of course the backgrounds of each of these characters are much deeper... but I need to get to my point)

Now I don't mean to brag, but I could be the quintessential "nice guy".  I do my best to help everyone I can, because that is what you are supposed to do.  Put my best foot forward in everything I do, try to be a good example for my daughter and for people around me. 

But there are days.  Days when I wish that I lived in a world where I could "straighten out" all the wrong I see in the world.  Days where I could just take it upon myself and make things right.

It starts, as usual, with "taking care" of the murderers, rapists, pedophiles that we see and hear about night after night on the news.   I think it's pretty safe to say that is where ANYONE who imagines such things would start.  And then I started thinking about where to go from there.

I would beat a little common sense into a few people that need it.

Like drivers in Calgary (seriously people... PUT YOUR EFFIN CELLPHONES DOWN WHEN YOU ARE BEHIND THE WHEEL BEFORE YOU KILL SOMEONE!) 

But how far down the rabbit hole do you want to go?  Do you then start attacking the backstabbers and people that have done you wrong for no other reason than their own selfishness or personal gain?  

It's at that point it stops being about "justice" and turns into revenge.

Which is why THIS guy...

The "Man Without Fear"

 ...the Daredevil should have been EXACTLY the type of character that she preferred.  

Sure, he is a vigilante that kicks some serious ass.  And YES he has a dark side... but he is able to fight that with a set of morals that he holds on to.  And while *I* don't agree with where he supposedly GETS these morals (as Matt Murdock is Catholic), his belief in a sense of the law and his choice not to kill (despite having every reason to do so) are something to be admired...and sets him apart from other characters who simply seek vengeance. 

He may not have been my favorite character growing up... but he is certainly one to enjoy now.

I Remember This Place...

I remember WAY BACK WHEN... I used to swing by here and post funny (to some) and interesting (to others) tidbits of information about what was going on in my life.  It was fun to voice my opinion on the things going on in the world and try and draw out some discussion among my friends.

But something has changed.  That desire to speak up and share my thoughts and feelings, has kinda turned into the Bowflex TreadClimber taunting me while it sits here unused in my living room.  Sure I know it's there, and I definitely need to use it, but I just can't seem to get over the hump. STORY OF MY LIFE... (perhaps that will be better saved for another day)

DAMN YOU!  WHY MUST YOU TAUNT ME SO?

 So, like any continually failing alcoholic/drug addict... I will jump up on the wagon and try my hand once more. (At a more frequent blog posting, not the Treadclimbing.  What am I? Superman? Baby steps, people. Baby steps.)

I have a plan and a few topics to talk about... Epilepsy, Boom Beach, Gettting Older, Crappy Drivers, Great Music, Dogs, World Travel, Self Examination (Mentally folks, get your minds out of the gutter!) and a few others...

I hope you will stay with me for the ride...I'll try to make it as enjoyable as possible.

No Trick...Dixie Chicks PERFECT Halloween Treat!

Blog entries two days in a row?  Has Raymond gone insane?  What could possibly be so important that he would need to post ANOTHER entry so soon.

Well let me tell you, my friends.  Life is good.  VERY good.

The Dixie Chicks are coming back to Calgary.

Now they were scheduled to be in town July 12 of this year as part of the 101st  Stampede celebrations. 

Of course, Mother Nature had a little something to say about that with a flood that put the Saddledome under water.

Now, even if the flood DIDN'T postpone the event, I wasn't going to be able to see them since I was kinda busy in Mexico...getting married. (Sorry Natalie, Martie and Emily...a man has priorities.)

Just my luck...today I learn that DCX is returning Halloween Night!  (Even better, I was given the task of writing/cutting the piece for our newscast...which certainly put a smile on my face.)

Upon hearing the news I text my wife, who is currently VERY busy in Washington, DC to ask what she would think about joining me on a date to see the concert.

Almost, as though she were standing behind me when I began the text, I received an instant reply of "YES!"

Immediately, I get online and take a chance on finding tickets, since the band and promoters are honoring the tickets that were purchased for the July 12th show.

A few clicks later, and voila!  The best Halloween Date I could ever hope for is set.

I'm faced with a bit of a conundrum though.

I thought of the perfect Halloween costume to wear to the concert...get all painted up like a Zombie and wear a name tag that says... "Hi...My name is EARL"; of course, referencing their smash hit "Goodbye Earl" 

The problem is... my conscience is having a hard time being cool with the thought of dressing up as a wife beating son of a bitch who deserved to die a long slow painful death...*ahem*...Sorry, that got away on me a little.

I am sure my beautiful wife will have a LOT to say about it...and perhaps she is up for a night of silliness (costumes) and great music...(the great music is more than enough for me.)  Although, I would love to get you thoughts on if you think it is cool to wear that kinda costume based on what it represents...you know... just as a discussion point.

On a more serious note...I thought I would just take a second to share my thoughts on my absolutely favorite song from the Dixie Chicks (and the link to go with it, so you can watch it yourself.)

The Long Way Around

This song has always "spoken" to me for some reason.  Mostly because it talks about a strength and courage that frankly, I have not always been able to show in my life.

Sure everyone's life is a journey and there are plenty of ups and downs that bring us to where we are today.  But all too often I have been happy to be "one of many" and have missed out on chances to pursue goals that I still regret every now and again. 

All because, the journey would be too long/difficult/not the norm.

It's funny though... As I listened to it again today, I couldn't help but think; "This song describes Carolyn, PERFECTLY" She has ALWAYS been someone who has had the strength to go after her dreams, no matter how hard it is to achieve or for anyone else to comprehend.  It is one of the MANY things that I have admired about her.

Truth be told, this song is one that I hope my daughter Taylor, will take to heart.  That it will remind her that she can do anything she sets her mind to.  I hope she takes the time to find what she wants to do with her life and then go after it with all her heart.

No matter where it takes her in the world.  Even if it *IS* "The Long Way Around".

So now that I have most assuredly annoyed my wife by fawning over her publicly (like always) and embarrassed my daughter by sharing my hopes for her with the internet community (like always)...I'm signing off.

To the Dixie Chicks...thanks for agreeing to come back... I'll be the dude cheering and singing his heart out in section 216...(whose wife may or may not be covering her face in embarrassment)

Life is good.... very good indeed!

Writer's Blockhead

So after spending the last hour and a half writing, erasing, writing, erasing blog entries; I have realized exactly why I haven't posted an entry for the past 18 and a half months.

I have absolutely nothing to say.

Now before you quickly click away (say that 5 times fast) from this site and go back to watching YouTube videos of a cat wearing a shark suit riding a roomba chasing a duck , give me a chance to explain myself.

I started to write a post about my weekend playing ball and how sore I am now.  How I played horribly and came to the realization that time has caught up to me and I am not the player I once was.

Then I thought...That is pathetic.  Why am I complaining about something that everyone faces at some point in their lives?  It's not like I am going to come up with some new idea that will help myself and others deal with aging. 

So I erased that self-serving garbage and started to write about how weird it was to find myself feeling "unexplained anger".  How, out of nowhere and with nothing to incite me,  I was really upset and wanted to yell at everyone about everything today.

Then I thought to myself... do I want to share this clearly unusual feeling with the entire world.  Do I want people to think of me as some weirdo who is on the edge of snapping?

Since some of you already know that is who I am... writing it out would only be repetitive, and there is no room for repetition in a blog. 

Simply no room for repetition.

Then I thought...why not write about something important like the fundraising efforts that are going on in Calgary to help the victims of the flooding in Southern Alberta.  Like Alberta Flood Aid !

Of course, that would mean I would have to talk about Nickelback, and I couldn't bring myself to do it. (I kid... I kid.  Kinda.  Many great artists and lots of people are working together to help those who have lost so much.  Please do what you can to help out... and enjoy what is sure to be a great concert. Seriously... GET YOUR TICKETS NOW!)

So there it is... I've stepped back into the blog world.

A very tiny ripple into the ocean of information (hard to believe, considering just how large I am.  But I will save my weight issues for another entry...another day).

Hope this one doesn't stop you from coming back here in the future.  For those of you who haven't seen my previous entries... take some time and check 'em out.  They'll either give you an inside look at the man... the MYSTERY that IS Raymond; or they will change your thoughts on whether everyone deserves the right to free speech.

Next one will be better... I promise...

I think.

One BOSS Night

I have had some incredible luck.

As a friend of mine pointed out to me this afternoon while seeing my newly added Facebook profile picture, in the past couple years I have been lucky enough to meet people that I have idolized.  First, it was my hockey hero, Ron Francis and only 3 nights ago...Penn and Teller.

To accurately describe the latest experience is pretty hard for me to do since frankly, in my excitement to meet these entertainers that I have admired since the mid-80’s I can’t completely recall what I said to either of them.

First; I should give a quick review of how this meeting came to be in the first place.

As was the case when I met Ron Francis, my girlfriend had bought me tickets to see Penn and Teller for Christmas (and my birthday...which is on the same day as Penn Jillette as a matter of fact), and since the only way for me to see Penn and Teller was to go to Las Vegas... well the trip to Sin City came with it.

Many people go to Vegas for many different reasons, but the only desire I had to go to Nevada was to see their show... everything else was gravy.  And it certainly didn’t disappoint.  As Penn pointed out in the introduction, the “bits” they did in their show covered various times throughout their long and storied careers, both on and off Broadway, from various tours, and to prove that greatness never rests, a new bit they did in the middle of the show that totally kicked ass!

I even volunteered to be a part of one of the bits (Penn and Teller use audience members in virtually every aspect of the show) alas I was not selected, but that didn’t dampen the night in the least.

They concluded the show with their “Bullet Catching” finale and upon wrapping up the show, Penn ran up the aisle out to the lobby while Teller walked up another aisle to join him, where they would meet audience members after the show, as has been their tradition...something that I don’t think ANYONE else in Showbiz does on a regular basis.

I knew they met their fans and had actually tweeted Penn to ask him if it was ok for me to bring a couple of “P&T: Bullshit” DVD’s and a book for them to sign, to which he replied that he would happily sign anything brought before him.

I ran through the whole meeting in my head at least a dozen times before the meeting and decided that I would purposely wait and bide my time a little to let the majority of the crowd thin out some.  I didn’t want to feel rushed or pressured with folks behind me waiting in line.

First was Teller.

Let me say I was thoroughly impressed with his thoughtful and generous nature.  He kindly signed the DVD’s in the places that I asked (over the episode descriptions of my two favourites) and shook my hand and thanked me for coming to the show before taking a picture with me. 

I moved on to meet Penn, where he too kindly signed the areas I had asked as well as his book (which I have reviewed in a previous blog post God no!...Penn YES!) and shook my hand.  As they had been separate for the after the show meetings I took a chance and asked if he would be willing to allow me to have a picture with both he and Teller and he said if I caught Teller, he would be willing to do so.

I quickly ran back to catch Teller once more and asked if he would be willing to have a picture taken with me and his partner.  Again, he very generously agreed to wait, during which time we had a very pleasant conversation where we spoke about the duo’s upcoming shows at Disneyland (or was it Disneyworld?  I can’t remember...the fact I remember any of this is a miracle to be honest...) and a very interesting special that they were taping in the near future. (I have to thank Carolyn for this because she initiated the conversation with him and made the experience even greater.)

Shortly afterward, Penn arrived and we took the picture together and I thanked them once more and we parted ways.

Immediately afterward, I asked Carolyn if I made it through the meeting ok and while she said that I was starting to gush a little bit, I did ok as far as she was concerned and wasn't TOO over the top. 

Of course... now that I have had time to think of the event... I think I really blew it.

They clearly knew I was a fan considering all the stuff I had brought for them to sign, but I wanted to just have a regular conversation with them and maybe ask a couple of questions.

I wanted to ask them questions about how often they change up their show.  Is it like Pearl Jam with a different set list every night or do they go with a show for a couple weeks before making changes?

I wanted to ask them if they ever dreamed their careers would take them from “comedic magic” to “debunking” common myths and beliefs held by society.

I wanted to personally compliment Penn on his book and tell him that I appreciated his effort to share stories about his personal life, especially about his family and how they have brought him to the belief system he has.

I wanted to ask Penn about his thoughts on the death of Christopher Hitchens and get his take on who would be the next leaders for athiests...if he saw himself taking up that charge.

With the GOP Nevada primary taking place that very night, I wanted to ask them their thoughts on politics in general and who they think would be best to lead their country and if their stance as Liberatarians made it difficult to engage in the political process.

I wanted to ask how often they came up with new bits how the ideas came to be and then as a joke suggest that a really cool bit they could try making a few politicians disappear...

I wanted to ask if they ever intended to do a tour of Canada in the future.  How much longer they felt they could continue this amazing career.  If Penn felt like there was politics in his future.

I wanted to be memorable to them both in a GOOD WAY... not a “Hey Teller, can you believe that guy at the end there?  Yikes, glad we have security for those freaks!”

Thankfully it didn’t turn out that way and I have yet another “BOSS” event that I will cherish for the rest of my days. 

For those headed to Vegas...(I don't have Penn's skill in the way of delivery but the setiment and heart is all there!)... "Do yourself a favour and make sure you take some time to visit the Rio All-Suite Resort and Casino in lovely Las Vegas, Nevada and check out the greatest magicians on the planet BAR NONE...PENN & TELLER!" 

Thanks again to both Penn and Teller for an amazing show, for being so kind and gracious with your time afterward and frankly for the years of entertainment you have provided me.  

Thanks most of all to Carolyn...another Christmas (and birthday) to remember...I hope I didn’t embarrass you too much.  

The Canadien/Canes Conundrum

Ned Flanders would call this situation a “dilly of a pickle”.

Today my beloved Carolina Hurricanes fired their head coach of many years Paul Maurice and hired on Kirk Muller.

It is a move that pleases and torments me on a number of levels.

As a hockey move, clearly this is something that had to be done for the sake of the team.  This squad is mired in a funk that threatens to cost them their entire season should things not turn around quickly.  The players had stopped responding to Maurice and were just not performing to the level required of a team that will even make the playoffs never mind win a Cup as they did in 2006. 

I had the pleasure of meeting Maurice outside a coffee shop during my “Pilgrimage to the Holy Land” a couple years ago, and I have to say I was thrilled and stunned at the man’s gracious and friendly nature.   He spoke with me and my partner, Carolyn at great length and only after a lengthy 15 minute visit did he excuse himself as he had to catch a flight to Florida with the team.

It was a great thrill for me to speak with him and it is a big part of the many fond memories I have as part of that trip.  So, while I know that his firing was needed to save the season for the team, it was very sad for me to see such a wonderful human without a job.

But that is really not where the REAL turmoil lies for me.

It is the hiring of a man that is very near the top of my list of “Most Hated Athletes”.

While Kirk Muller has played for a number of teams throughout his hockey career, it can be argued (at least in Canada) that the team he is most associated with is the Montreal Canadiens. 

Now... those of you who know me, know of my hatred for this squad, so clearly I do not have to go over this for you as it is redundant, boring and for some, proof that I indeed need a form of around the clock counselling...(Carolyn calls it “Raymond, get a grip!”... but I digress)

I remember regarding him with utter and complete disdain as he would score key goals or make a strong defensive play or draw a penalty against my beloved Hartford Whalers, and follow his excellent performance by mugging for the damn cameras in the post game interviews instead of looking at the reporters that asked the question with that smug, confident smile that only seemed to rub salt into the open wounds he inflicted upon my pro sports fan ego. 

Having this man that I have hated for years step into a role to lead the team that I love instantly made me cringe and wretch in revulsion.

I know what you are thinking... “Carolyn is right, Raymond.  You need to get a bloody grip! Why don’t you just think of him as a New Jersey Devil or Dallas Star or Florida Panther instead of a Hab.  Why torture yourself” (...okay... most of you are just thinking that I should get a grip and that is it!)

I have been thinking about this all day and wondering how exactly I would explain this properly to those who don’t understand or dismiss my dismay in such a manner.

And it dawned on me.

I would ask you all to picture yourselves as Republicans...better yet I would like you to consider yourselves Tea Party members.  For my friends in Canada... picture yourselves as Conservatives or better yet, Alberta Conservatives.

You have very strong beliefs that you have grown with and that you hold dear.  And you look at the Democrats/Liberal are a pox on society that will drag your country into the mire the likes of which will never be recovered from. (For the record I think this belief is exactly what is wrong with politics these days, but that is another blog posting for another day)

The time has come to select a leader for your party.  A person who is determined to be best suited to bring your party to power and institute the changes you want to see in order to have your country become successful and flourish.

Now imagine the Republicans selected Barack Obama to lead you to the White House in 2012...

And for my fellow Canucks who would be (Albertan) Conservatives... picture Pierre Elliot Trudeau as your leader...

Admit it... you just threw up in your mouth a little didn’t you?  I am not afraid to call you a liar if you tell me you didn’t feel that tiny bit of revulsion.

Those men are probably the most polarizing and hated individuals by their opponents in the history of politics (at least in Canada that is a safe statement... perhaps my American friends would be able to find a more hated Democrat leader)

And if we are all honest with ourselves the reason why they are so hated is because deep down...waaayyyyyyy down in some cases, we respected them for what they were capable of accomplishing for our opponents.

That is the case for me.

Deep down in a place that I don’t care to admit actually exists, I have respect for the accomplishments of Kirk Muller and believe that he can indeed bring some much needed change to our squad.  I think he has the tools to be an excellent leader and bring success to the team that we Canes fans so desperately seek.

And should he be able to turn this season around and get my beloved Canes into the playoffs and perhaps beyond...I will be both delighted AND repulsed at once.

I will wrap this up by repeating an message to Hurricanes GM Jim Rutherford that I made earlier in a message board group only partly in jest.

This torture you are putting me through...  had better pay off. 

And now to find a decent mental health professional...

"Nope... it's not in THERE!"

For the first time in 6 years, I am without my goatee.

Silly though it may seem, the simple act of shaving is kind of a big deal for me since... well, to slightly alter a popular tune from My Fair Lady...”I’ve become accustom to my face”.

Aside from the fact that the goatee hid 2 of the three chins that I have developed thanks to a ridiculous increase in neck fat, I always thought it gave me an air of maturity that I enjoyed.  Of course the second that I open my mouth that maturity quite often disappears, but I think that is a topic better suited for a future blog entry.

What has forced this drastic action which I took the liberty of executing LIVE on air this morning?

Check your calendars... it is MOVEMBER 1^st.

A time where thousands of men all over North America (and around the World as I see upon joining the cause) grow moustaches to raise awareness about prostate health and the importance of getting a regular prostate exam.

I am not sure that I completely understand the connection between a moustache and having the Doc jelly up his finger to give you the ole “How ya’ doin’?”, but there are many things I will never see the connection to. 

One thing that I do see... and that is the importance of getting a regular health exam that includes a prostate exam.  Prostate Cancer is the second leading cause of deaths by cancer in men, but is certainly survivable if detected early.

While the digital rectal exam may FEEL like it takes an eternity, it is really quite quick and is probably the best gift any man can give himself in the way of health.  Not only that, it can also provide you an opportunity at comedy unlike any other.

I can’t believe I am going to share this with the world...

So there I am getting my health check and it’s time for the DRE (Do you think that is what DRE stands for in Dr. Dre? Moving on...) and I am lying on the exam table in the Fetal position, pants and underwear around my ankles.

 I read up on the exam before I went in and it said to make sure you breathe deeply and to try to relax and it seems to help as the DRE began.  I understand why they advise you to breathe because the shock damn near took my breath away.  But soon enough it was over and my Doctor politely said “Alright Raymond.  All done, you can get up now.”

I no sooner started to think to myself that it really wasn’t all that bad an ordeal, when my doctor said something that I made me laugh hysterically. 

I will never forget it.  He patted the breast pocket of his shirt and looked down quizzically and said...

“Where did I put my pen?”

My uncontrollable laughter made him give me a look as though I had lost my mind until I asked him if he realised what he had said. 

Once I told him that he had asked a question of himself that he CLEARLY did not mean to be spoken aloud...he smiled and blushed a little, while I told him that I knew where it wasn’t.

My doctor has since retired (no not because of this incident either) and I am on the lookout for a new one.  And yes, if you must know, I am basing a great deal of my selection process on the width of my future doctor’s fingers.

Regardless of the digital girth... one thing remains the same.  Prostate exams are important, and ALL men should get them on a regular basis along with their annual health check to ensure that they are free of symptoms.

Now... all stories aside I am going to throw this out there for you the blog reader.

If you had even the slightest giggle or chuckle upon reading this rather interesting personal experience... I would ask that you please visit my Movember website and make whatever donation you are capable of making in support of the prostate cancer research cause.  (Or if someone close to you is raising money... make sure you donate to them.)

http://www.movember.com/m/1973490

I will post some updated pictures of my face, what it looked like normally, what it looks like today, and updated pics on the progress of the moustache and all its glory.  I am going to go with the Frank Zappa style I think... a combination of the Ned Flanders Cookie Duster (or the 70’s porn ‘stache if you wish) and a little “Soul Patch” under the lip for flava...

Thanks for your time...and gentlemen... what are you waiting for? Get your appointment for that exam NOW...there are pens to be lost... and found...

ENOUGH ALREADY!

Almost three years ago CBC’s Rick Mercer offered up one of his classic rants that appear on “This Hour has 22 Minutes” on the topic of living through being bullied.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t1Y7qpiu2RQ&NR=1

Sadly it is a message that either didn’t resonate with or get to 15 year old Jamie Hubley.

He is a young boy who ended his life earlier this month thanks to what he felt was unbearable pressure of being bullied by his peers.

This week, Rick Mercer dedicated some more time to this tragic story and the never-ending problem that caused it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wh1jNAZHKIw&feature=youtu.be

I have had a difficult time writing this entry, mostly because my eyes keep welling up with tears of sadness that this happens to anyone.  That, and because I have to carefully select my words and avoid using vulgarities that are spawned by the pure RAGE I feel when I think of the people who drove this and every teenager that has ended his life to such a drastic and final decision.  So I will ask that you bear with me as I continue.

When is our society going to say enough is enough and start bringing these bullies to justice?  When are we going teach our children that it is not cool to taunt or tease another child because they are different?  And I am not just talking about the youth who attack other children because they are homophobic.  I am talking about ALL forms of bullying; for any reason.

Being in a newsroom myself and knowing a number of people in social services that are implementing programs to help deal with bullying, it is good to see that at least something is being done. (I guess I just answered my own questions from the previous paragraph.  Like I said... you are going to have to bear with me here) I appreciate the efforts made by these adults who are recognizing the issues and trying to help our youth deal with them by shining a light on the problem.

Jamie Hubley’s parents should be commended for coming out to tell the world about their son and the troubles he lived through.  Think about it; it was a double whammy for them.  Not only was their son gay, a fact that STILL in this day in age, forces so many people to hide who they really are out of fear of reprisal from homophobes everywhere, their son also committed suicide, a topic that has always come with a stigma of shame for the people left behind. I remember growing up and being silenced by adults when the topic of suicide came up, because "that is not polite conversation". 

Their courage in speaking out will not bring their son back, but maybe it will get other families talking about their feelings and issues that are festering and growing while they stay silent.  If it saves even ONE life...then perhaps they will be able to take some solace in that.

There is going to come a time though, when talking about it won’t be enough.  In fact, when it comes to dealing with bullies, the time for talk has long since passed. It is time for action...RIGHT NOW!

It is time for those kids who are being harassed and tortured to stop quietly grinning and bearing it.  It is time to stand up and say “I am being bullied and it has to stop”. It’s time for the kids who sit idly by and watch it happen out of fear that they might be the next target, to have the courage to say “Knock it off!”  I am not talking about “taking the law into your own hands” or turning the tables and bullying the bullies.  I am talking about all of you standing side by side with the victims of this torture and force it to stop with a little solidarity, and let’s face it; you outnumber those bullies at LEAST 50 to 1.  And how about reporting this crap to the teachers or parents who can help put a stop to this.  And by the way, it is time to stop worrying about being called a rat.  If you see something that isn’t right, tell someone about it. 

Is it easy?  Nope.  I won’t lie to you; it takes a courage that a lot of people never have the ability to find.  But look yourself in the mirror and ask yourself.  If you were the target of a bully, would you not appreciate any and all of the help you could get to bring a stop to it?  WHEN you answer yes, you will know what you have to do.

And for the schools and teachers...how about getting the police involved here, huh?  How about sticking these punks with harassment charges?  It’s like Mercer said, they would bring the cops in to get to the bottom of who vandalised the cafeteria or the outer school wall with graffiti...are we saying that our kids are less important than property?

All you bleeding hearts who think laying harassment charges are too serious a punishment to get the law involved?  All of you who think it’s not fair to saddle the perpetrators with a record for the rest of their lives?  Would you be willing to live with the consequences of your child’s decision to end his/her life because bullies are making it unbearable and are getting away with it?

Criminal behavior must have consequences, and bullying IS criminal behaviour.  Time to call this what it is.

I try to teach my daughter to be respectful of people until they show you they don’t deserve respect.  I try to teach her that we all have our foibles that make us different (and living with me she gets a firsthand example of that) and that is not the reason to taunt or tease someone.  It is reason to celebrate, because frankly if we were all the same...this world would be a pretty boring place.  I try to teach her to be a leader through her words and actions.  No this doesn’t make me a hero...these are just conversations that have to happen with our children if there is any hope to  end to this abhorrent behaviour. Further, they are conversations that have to KEEP happening until they stick.

In closing... I wish to give my condolences to the Hubley family, and indeed every family who is left behind after a teen suicide.  For the kids who are being bullied...Rick Mercer is right... it DOES get better... but hopefully the rest of us can help you out with that and find a way to make it stop. 

I know I will try to do my part.

Over the Razors Edge

I have blogged on exploitation before and while I was annoyed with it in the past, what I saw today disgusted and disheartened me.

I am about to proudly admit something that my partner will wish I had kept to myself.

She doesn’t understand it and probably finds it embarrassing that she is in love with a guy who enjoys it as much as I do.

I like Professional Wrestling.

I watched this much maligned form of entertainment from a very young age, (probably younger than I should have looking back at it now), alongside my father who would catch it on Saturdays when he was home.  Every Saturday afternoon we would tune in to Stampede Wrestling from Calgary, best known as the home of the Hart Brothers, Brett and Owen (RIP). 

We cheered the “Faces” (Good guys) hated the “Heels” (bad guys) and enjoyed the battles that would play out over the 8 to 10 minute matches.  I was amazed at their strength, the great shape the wrestlers were in, the gimmicks. 

Then it moved onto watch World Wrestling Federation matches with dad, which was Stampede Wrestling on steroids (very apropos as it turns out).  Everything was bigger and better.  The wrestlers were larger; the managers were louder, the personalities wilder.  I bought the gimmicks hook line and sinker...totally lost in the storylines that were being told on a weekly basis.

It wasn’t until I got older when I started seeing the unseemly side of the wrestling world.  The stories about the men BEHIND the characters I would see every week became more interesting than the wrestling itself.  Thankfully this also coincided with many of the wrestlers becoming involved in writing their own books or the release of documentaries.

“Beyond the Mat” was perhaps the best of the documentaries, albeit slightly depressing, predominantly because of the story it shared on Jake “The Snake” Roberts. 

Easily one of my very favourite characters, mostly because he was the first of the “heels” I liked.  Dangerous and mysterious, at any second he could end a match with his patented finisher, the “DDT”, he would then take his massive snake “Damien” out of the army bag he would bring to ringside and drape it all over his felled opponent.  Even when he lost I thought he was unbeatable... unstoppable...larger than life.

 The documentary changed all of that.  What was shown was a man, decimated by addictions to drugs and alcohol, an estranged relationship with his daughter, desperately trying to hold on to a past that had long since left him behind.  The bright lights that shone on him no longer highlighting the character he was, but pointing out the shell of a man he had become.

I hadn’t watched that movie in years...but today I was given a look at the next, and certainly not the last, tragic story in the world of professional wrestling, in the form of a special ESPN feature/documentary called: “The Wrestler:The Scott Hall Story”.

http://espn.go.com/video/clip?id=7124904

Just like in “Beyond The Mat”, this video features a wrestling legend who has fallen victim to the success he enjoyed in his glory days, where alcohol, drugs, sex were abundant, and cares were few and far between. 

It goes deep into the story about his youth, highlights of an unseemly past, his entry into the profession the rise to the top of the mountain and the painful and heartbreaking fall that cost him more than it should cost anyone.

His choice to continue as a professional wrestler, barely a shell of his former self at the age of 53 is not the exploitation that has me so angry.  He is making this choice for himself and even though everyone, himself included, knows he should stop...he continues on.  It is a free world and it is his right to live it as he wishes.

It is not the fact that this video was produced that bothers me either.  It is these types of videos that humanize the individuals that we make out to be heroes all too often.  We need to see that even those individuals that we think “have it all”, have their own issues that they need to deal with.  Pitfalls that if left unchecked, could destroy even the most grounded individual.   Seeing the tears in his eyes...seeing the pain in the eyes of his son...it was enough to bring tears to my eyes as well. As a father myself, it bothers me a great deal to see how he chose the life on the road and the drugs over his family.  I pity him and what his life has become and what he has had to live through, but I have also lost a lot of respect for him.

It’s not even the fact that his own son who has had a ringside seat to watch his father’s life being destroyed that bothers me, or the fact that Scott Hall is pushing his son and encouraging him to get involved in the profession. 

No... My anger is directed squarely at the wrestling promoter who took advantage of Scott Hall at his lowest point. 

A man who sees an intoxicated, drugged up, shell of a wrestler that was supposed to be his star performer of the night and instead of doing the moral and HUMAN thing by telling the crowd that had gathered that Hall was not fit to perform, decides to disregard the wrestlers his health and dignity and send him out through the curtain so that he wouldn’t have to give refunds.

This scummy promoter and miserable excuse of a human being claims that he was “showing the world who Scott Hall was”, like he was doing the world a favour.  He claimed it was a business decision for his promotion.  But even that is a joke, as I can come up with at least two other solutions to the problem.

A)     Flat out tell the crowd that Scott Hall is unable to perform during the show that night and deal with the fallout.  As Hall was later diagnosed as being under the influence of drugs, the promoter surely would have been able to sue for failure to perform and get back every dollar he lost in gate fee refunds.

B)      Have him show up on the evening, not as a performer, but as a former star who could sign autographs for the fans who wanted to see him.  Set up a table and let the fans visit with him and get something signed and be on their way. 

Neither one of these suggestions is ideal.  Hell, they flat out suck for the fans.  I know I would be disappointed to not be able to watch one of my favourites (although for my money I would much rather have the older stars that I love taking part in option B as a rule when they are brought into independent promotions.  Leave the wrestling to the younger guys...but I digress).  But if the option is to not see one of the stars of years past, or witnessing the humiliation that Scott Hall lived through (by his own hands)...there’s no question I’d rather not see him at all.

Both of those suggestions, though not ideal, are smarter business decisions because:

A)     You don’t put yourself at the risk of being sued by the Hall family should he die while performing in the ring when CLEARLY he was in no shape to be involved in physical activity of ANY nature, never mind wrestling.  He very easily could have died right there in the ring...I can only hope that isn’t what the promoter was wishing for, since clearly it would have thrust his little operation into the limelight...a clearly evil thought indeed.

B)      You don’t embarrass your promotion by putting out substandard entertainment for the dollars the fans pay.  Tell me wrestling fan, would you EVER spend another dollar with a company that thought it was ok to make you watch that embarrassing display?  I damn near didn’t make it through the 30 seconds of highlights in this documentary, never mind the whole damn match.

But I don’t care about the business aspect of this.   What bothers me is that this jerk couldn’t be bothered to do the human and moral thing and keep Hall from performing.

He chose the dollar over the human being. 

I discovered over time that wrestling's dark side is filled with exploitation and horrible stories that are almost enough to sour me on watching ever again.  The event on April 8th, 2011 displayed in "The Wrestler" was the pinnacle of exploitation and shows just how selfish a man can be.

Sadly, Scott Halls behaviour shows that too.